爱情

每个人都说。。爱情是盲目的。

我同意 :)

爱情啊。。

你真的很不可思议。。

一旦得到了你。。就不想放。。

让人。。变得很不清醒。。

你，

把苦的变成甜的。。

不可能，变可能。。

把丑的变美。。

臭的变香。。

你不可能被毁灭。。

如果没有你。。也许这世上就会少了很多快乐。。

但是。。也增加了很多悲伤。。

恋爱的人啊。。

失恋的人啊。。

付出的人啊。。

都是爱情的奴隶。。

得到的越多。。想要的更多。。

付出的再多。。感觉。。还不够。。

我曾经和我一个很好的朋友在班上。。放大声量的唱歌。。

我真的。。很想念当时的我们。。

如今。。一切都变了。。

放弃吧。。人都会变。。

但，忘不了。。

仅有，属于我们俩的回忆依然。。

深刻在我脑海里。。

-现在，真的很想被你紧紧抱着-

2011

Tell me about 2010.

2010. he said "I met a girl. She came into my life. Till now, she's in my heart."

tell me what you think of it.

Facing my laptop and BLAM notes.

all i need is to pass and excel.

all i need is just to get up and run again.

My new year's resolution.

1.I want my parents and family to be healthy and happy always.

2. I will change to be better :) self improvement.

3. May this year be as unforgettable as 2010.

i don't know about us. but. when all is said.

promises are made.

keep it or break it.

it's up to us.

you chose to keep it.

I chose You.

this maybe cheap

but i am not a cheat.

i pour my heart and soul to live my life.

and i can't believe that i am 20 already.

-waiting for you-

3 Days 2 Nights in Shangrila

I have no idea that Shangrila is that beautiful.

No. actually beautiful is not the word.

there's no words to describe it.

3 days and 2 nights

is not enough.

3 days 2 nights

and i am the one who is standing there waving good bye.

what if.

i stayed?

what if...........

Christmas 2010

the best ever.

I am a sinner.

Please wash away all my sins.

back from Shangrila.

time to face the real world.

Study. and 3.0 wait for me!

3 Days 2 Nights

is the best that I've had. since long time ago.

it's a dream, that all dreamers wont want to be awake.

believe me because i was dizzy when i woke up.

-It's not as simple as a dream-

Infinity

Have you ever talk about the future with the person that you never thought that you will lose in the future?

sometimes. Things are really different, i can still remember the first time i saw him.

it's a kind of feeling that say " HE IS THE ONE" it's like a little voice in your head.

i believe i am not the only one who experience this.

but, as we grow. as we get to know each other more, like each other

and then eventually fall in love.

and that's when things starting to get complicated.

everything seems to change.

and you will start to wonder.

am i making a mistake since the beginning?

it hurts more when remembering conversations about both of you.

talking about the unknown future.

at last, both of you will just end up, quarreling, hating each other

and eventually ending everything.

and one day, maybe 40 years later, on a warm Sunday afternoon,

sitting beside the window drinking tea.

maybe looking at your grandchildren.

maybe. and just maybe. those flash images of both of you will appear.

back then, things are so simple.

when I LOVE YOU is enough to make my day.

when i can smile when his name pops up on my phone.

when this world seems to be such a wonderful place.

no, i mean, this world is still really beautiful and all.

but, it's different when you start seeing things moving in slow motions.

the voices of people seems to chimes. people around you are always with smiling faces

and everything is so... Bright. YELLOW ( for me)

even things that you used to hate isn't that bad anymore.

even the air smells sweet and nice. :)

and please don't tell me that what i wrote above is nonsense.

i dare you swear that you never encounter this before.

i dare you!

You can just ignore it, if you hate my writing so much.

i mean. i wont kill myself because no body's reading my blog.

just like i say. i write what i want.

why life have to be so hard.

why can't it be easier?

i see people around me.

going around. enjoying their life.

I want to travel too.

as if i can. just leave everything and walk!

but, it's not fair.

so, i might as well continue my same old life.

with the same old routine.

sad, that girl still doesn't understand that people are asking her to STOP typing idiot.

glad that i am in MC D now.

MC D's still the BEST!

-I don't have the power to control-

Is this real?

can you feel my heart beat?

it's not really racing. but. with unusual beat.

obviously faster than usual.

Yes. I promise, but.

there's always a but.

BUT! I don't even know what's the but for?

shitting?

You really make my day :)

Thanks.

and i can tell you. it's not that shallow anymore.

this you can trust me.

really. for everything.

maybe you just needed someone to be with you.

especially when you are new.

and i believe it will eventually pass.

But again.

please don't be that soon.

I can't let go just yet.

you know what.

I am glad you said that.

I don't want to be behind you.

Let us walk side by side :)

I miss my home.

it's December already.

time really do flies.

Next year. Will be a wonderful year.

I hope.

for both of us and everything.

-Call me when you are bored-

A breach of trust

I know i am not a law student or anything but.

this girl sure know a little something about law! ;)

a lot, happened this few days.

seriously.

you don't wanna know what it's like.

i did that to him. and i am sorry for what I've done.

sorry! :(

and i was. wrong.

what got into me?

to the extend that....

speechless.

am i taking him for granted?

i guess i took everyone nice to me for granted :(

my mum do say that. sometimes.

I love Jay Chou but i guess i have to sacrifice for the best.

and i want to be the best!

listening to his songs since i was. really young and getting his albums was the best of it not until i got scolded by my dad.

it's not a waste of money dad! :)

i think :P

my life time collection, but it's half way.

i don't mind. really.

well, i am hoping to see the rainbow after all the rain and storm.

please.

i don't wanna die in my dreams.

-i need to see your smile not only for today but forever-

9 Months

9 Months already?
and a little late.
there's really alot to tell.
where to start or not to start at all.

but it really don't mean anything without you with me.

I am blinded.
or did i cover my eyes with my own hands.

i don't know.
which is black and which is white.

i am color blind.
show me and lead me.

you and me?
or there's no more you.

clap if you are glad.
look at me.
can't you see which finger am i showing you?
there take it!


-i don't know what i want.-

Lagenda Budak Setan

this is really a good book! by Ahadiat Akashah. A Malaysian writer.

i got this from the book

it's just beautiful.

I never try to impress the queen with my writing

or making the birds sing

or the phones ring

i never want to make you cry

or die

or sigh

I just want to write because i HAVE to write

i just want to write about things i knew RIGHT

so sorry if the writing is about heart

or blood

or tart

because i'm going to write about what i'm going to write

whether the writing is about ride

or guide

or kite

and i never give a DAMN whether

you like it

or HATE it

or yell about it

because i write for what i have to write

and of course i'm going to write

a special book for you to read

not to greet

or spit

just read

and read

till the last deed

reading this while listening to the songs that we used to sing together.

wondering about the tragic love story of Kasyah and Ayu.

it gave me a stronger will to write.

and to write till the end.

to write till my fingers are all crooked.

to write till the last piece of paper.

and to write about anything and everything.

who cares if you want to criticise or curse.

it really doesn't matter anymore.

i don't care what will happen next.

maybe i am too engrossed.

or maybe i am just emotional.

but what happens next.

will eventually happen.

there's nothing to worry about.

i really do miss the time when we were younger.

when running seems so fun.

-the clock continues to tick-

Different

I guess i got hit on the head twice.

I write what i want. To express what ever i like.

those comments from other low life anti social losers are just some pain in the eye.

i won't do anything to change though.

Freedom of speech. Do you have any idea what it means?

So what if I criticise people?

it's up to me.

and did I ever mention any names?

NO ASS HOLE!

There was never a contract between us. so there's no offer or acceptance.

Don't you dare judge me!

Even if i am desperate enough to go FUCK myself. It's none of your business either?

SHIT FACE!

true friends and true comments.

i accept.

Yeah. people like me should go die and never ever exist i guess.

i know the difference.

You don't need to remind me.

Seriously. even there are obvious differences.

What should i do?

Say something SMART ASS!

people just love to make other people's life difficult.

come on!

CHALLENGE ME!

or should i say PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN FUCKING SIZE!

this is all BULL SHIT!

it feels so good to curse.

yet. it don't mean anything.

i am just reflecting my own low mentality.

to give or to take it's not up to you.

just go FLY KITE!

-I seriously need more Jesus in me-

朋友

今天很開心 :)

回來家裡已經有兩天了。。

說好要讀書的。。但卻。。沒做到。

回家哪能專心啊。。:P

今天為何那麼開心呢？

因為吃得好飽哦！！！

天啊！回家真的沒有挨餓的一天 :)

剛剛和兩個老朋友出去吃火鍋還有喝一級棒的西米露！！

偷偷告訴你們。。其實。。我家裡今天也有弄火鍋哦。。但吃得。。不是很開心。。

我真不明白，為什麼一家人就不能開開心心的坐在一起吃頓飯呢?

拜託。。你女兒一個月回來就那幾天。。

算了。。習慣就好。。

還是老朋友最好。。:)

謝謝你們。。我真的很珍惜我們之間的友情。。

一起走過的歲月 :)

剛才，吃著美食，聽著好歌。。和最好的朋友。。人間享受呀！！ :)

我們要一起跑向未來。。一起加油！ :)

give me the logic

Hello.

i know it's weird for me to write my blog 2 days in a row but.

there's something in my chest that i really need to let it go!

OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE SUCH PEOPLE ALIVE

yaya i know i am still living in a box.. but. it's kinda hard for me to accept it..

it's not against the law to be XL or XXL.

i know it's easy for you. skinny BITCH!

some of us are born like this. you think we chose to be like this?

THINK AGAIN SMART ASS!

yeah you! smart ass! since you are so freaking smart!

ouh and i take it back the post i posted on facebook sometime ago. "i wanna be a skinny bitch so freaking bad"

i take it all back!

i am so grateful that God gave me extra!

luck to have all the fats hanging around me!

i am extremely huggable!

proud to say that He accepted me for who i am! YEAH!

and my family and true friends love me for who i am too!

bad news for you, my MAN here loves me even i put on another 1000 pound or so!

so back off!!!

at least i am happy with my life.

and when i stare in the mirror i see the real me!

not just some plastic acting nice in front of others.

people that truly know me, they know that i never FAKE.

take it and accept it!

-why am i doubting myself?-

8 Months

8 Months already?

and i am writing this for the 8th time?

the night is cold.

it is because of the distance.

despite the rain.

can we be together on the next 23rd?

are we still together?

i am starting to feel attached to you.

it's not good. isn't it?

sometimes. i really wonder why do we play with fire although we know that we might get hurt in the end.

things are smooth and sometimes rough.

but it's the kind of feeling that i get makes me want to go on.

:)

my super number 1.

-Missyoutoo-

20102010

today's not special thought despite the date.

it's been long since i last update my blog.

i don't have anything to write anymore.

someone took my inspirations away. :(

fights

quarrels

we been it through.

but, it was never nice.

i think my hostel toilet need some renovation and maintainence.

people now a days don't know manners.

how can they shit out of the toilet bowl?

isn't that insane?

however. i just hope that it will be gone soon!

as it was there since this afternoon!

darling. i miss you dearly!

everything about you~

how can i prove to the world that fat is not a sin?

how can people accept me?

how why who?

it's difficult and they don't understand.

they never will.

am i going to tell people the way i love you is through my phone?

other people. i don't care. i should and i will remain silent.

block it all.

-inspirations come back to me-