Getting Over

I don't know why but today seems harder.
I dream of us last night.
We were happy. I cant really remember what happened in the dream but we were so happy.

Today is not a very good day for me.
I miss you a lot.
I really do.
It is so hard to get over things.

I wish today can be better.
I miss talking to you.
telling you all the shits that happened at work.

I need to keep telling myself that you don't want me anymore and you don't care.
I need to keep reminding myself that you are not interested in anything that i told you.
And you dont love, never love me enough that's why you left.

No matter what you did for me.
No matter what you promised. You left.
No matter how many kittens we rescue. You left
No matter how many songs you wrote and sang for me. You left.
No matter how much you family and friends liked me. You left.
No matter how many fucking times you said "I wont leave you" YOU FUCKING LEFT!

I need to keep repeating everything in my head until i am tired.
until i am sick of myself.
How many times do i need to repeat to myself that you hate me now.
You are so much more happier without me.
Dont know why am i still writing about you.
its not like you will read my blog anyway.
I used to write good things about us.
You never appreciate me enough to read.

I wish i could hate you.
I wish i am as heartless like you so life can be easier.

You mean ass hole.
Get the fuck out of my head.