Someone New

I wonder if you have someone new that replaced me, like they all assumed.
I wonder if you have someone new does she make you happy?
does she knows all your secrets?
does she love music like we do?
does she cook you favorite food?
is she beautiful?
does she takes all your pain away?

I wonder if you have someone new, that is able to love you more than i do.
I wonder if both of you share the same inside jokes.

I wonder why are you such a coward.
Why do i need to go through your sister to know about you?

What this relationship meant to you?
You are such an ass hole.

I hate you.
I love you.

I am dying.
But i don't want to.
I am struggling to stay alive
to smile to be happy without you.

FUCK i know it is so useless to miss you. to think of you
BUT I CAN'T

HOW THE HELL YOU DO IT?
HOW.
OH GOD. Please teach me how, because I think I cant take it any longer.

Am i faking it all these while?

People said.
You must have found someone new, that's why it is easier.
People said
You really don't want this relationship anymore and dont want me back.
People said.

What about you?
All i really want is, to hear from you. word from your mouth.
All i really want is. I am so lost.

I really am. sucked into this pool of emotions and darkness.
No matter how many people i met. none of them. none can replace you.

You always feel like home to me.
at the end of the day I just want to go home to you.
I guess i am lost because i am homeless?


Will i ever find happiness?
Will i ever be loved again?
Will my heart feel complete again?

You heartless piece of shit.
I hope someone stabs you a million times on your heart to feel my pain.

At the end of the day, I can't deny, this is Karma.
and this is what i deserve.

So GOD if you are punishing me. You are doing hell of a great job
because i dont feel like a human being anymore.

Thanks. I know this is what i deserve.
just take my life. Oh, i dont think you will because it will be too easy for me right.
dying is a release for me.
living is torture.

This is what i have become.
I am no inspiration. I am no She Hulk I am no good example.

I just.

FUCK YOU JAY.