love of my life don't leave me

this is going to be a sad sad blog

i am not going to bother editing pictures or what ever fuck shit in it. i don't care about my spelling or my freaking grammar. i know they sucks! so STOP judging.
i can't even think of a post title right now.

i am sad, depressed, overwhelmed in fact

death, people come and go.
it happens everyday.
i can't stand watching people that i am used to around me leaving.

they leave carrying part and pieces of my heart. my dear grandma. she did not deserve the life she had. i really do hope that she is in a better place right now.

maybe death is her only way to end the sufferings.

To tell the truth i cried really loud and really long in my hostel room when my parents dropped me off during my first semester in diploma.
I am not a cry baby, can't be alone type of girl.

I am in fact quite tough. i think. or not. :( i don't know.
i missed my grandma. I as grow older i begin to realized, things don't last long.

Toys, phones, laptop, water bottles, umbrellas, slippers, shoes, socks, bras, and relationship.
friendship, love hate relationship.

my friend's grandma just passed away, and it seems like i can feel her pain and sufferings. I am sad. heart broken. I am running out of tears if i continue to cry like this.

Suck it up, be strong. I wish i could.
i hate to fake. fake a smile. a laugh. faking that i am interested in what ever shit that you are saying.
My mind heart and soul had depart to a place where things last forever.

love of my life, come back to me.

six months. gone. what the fuck time! what the fuck. :'(