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| This is us :) |
I'm still alive fortunately.
it has been a month or so since my last post
:(
I was busy, lazy, being fat.
got a job at a local Japanese restaurant, realised that I can multitask and work well with people.
My first ever job.
cleaning, washing, wiping, sweeping, mopping, serving rich ass brats.
I love working there. My boss is great, he treats us with respect, love to joke.
He's like a big brother to me nothing stereotype about him.
the way he acts, talks, makes decision.
I've been working for about a month now.
meet new friends, experience stuff and gain weight.
I also met a cute boy there.
He's my partner.
The great thing about us is we have this weird, instant, connection.
as though as he knows me. he knows when to back me up.
the funny thing is we got to know each other for less then a week or so and we are already working really well together.
He's a sweet guy.
:) yes i like him. not like, like falling in love like.
i just like him.
people come and people go.
Kuala Terengganu is a small town, and since it's the only place selling Japanese food so working there is like meeting the whole town.
especially old primary school mates.
I really wonder what would they think of me. not that i care, just curious.
are they like "OMG. what is she doing here?" "college dropout?" "still fat" "no future?"
I was kinda sad cuz... none. none of them said Hi to me. not even a friendly smile.
Welcome to reality, I told myself.
But who gives a fuck.
em. a small part of me does.
seeing some of them married, having kids.
they seem happy.
i'm glad to see them happy. the contradiction between me and them.
I am still fat. 22 and still studying, lifeless, controlled by parents, can't drive, still me.
People changed,
i feel like i am still standing there. Not moving at all.
Still wearing my t-shirt from 10 years ago.
Still struggling to lose weight, still have low self esteem.
still not wearing any makeup.
Gosh.
My friend posted pictures and her and her baby boy on wechat.
He's so so so adorable. looks so much like her.
She was my best friend during primary school.
and now she's happily married. :)
you see. I am not desperate to be fucked or get married or want a boy friend or anything.
My dad, he doesn't understand. i want simple happiness. I want to be with the person i love and live a happy life.
Unfortunately for them. I am always desperate. Desperate cuz my friends have family and kids and are happy.
He is a undeniably smart man. sad to say he's too proud to listen to his own daughter.
couple weeks more i'll be leaving this corrupted cursed land.
to a kingdom where everyone is united. (LOL) cheesy fuck!
i knew. i wont wanna come back here.
MyHe knows everything, unfortunately not everything is the same.
not every situation is the same.
what is sacrifice if you want people that you sacrifice for to give back?
-I want nothing more but simple happiness.
where can i find them?
not here.-
