HELLO

hehehe just wanna tell you guys that i m not crazy to update so many post in one shot~

that are all the stuff i wrote when i cant publish :D

since the connection is good! so i upload everything :)

Lonely night

I am alone in the room.. not my hostel room but my aunt’s house.

Just came back from JB~

I love it! It just drives me back to my childhood! When my cousins and I are close J

When we used to play together and laugh as we want!

Eating nice food and playing games.. watching tv till middle of the night and share stories J

I miss it! And that also made me realized I am not alone..

Today, before coming back to kl~

My aunt stop by yong peng! An old hose of my grandmother..

Omg my tears were about the shed.. it’s been years sins I last visited that house.

I think the last time was when ,my grandfather passed away~

And that’s it..

The house used to be crowded with children and relatives J

That was like a place we gather during holidays.. where my cousin and I college our childhood memories lol

That place means a lot to me.. I think it means a lot to others too…

Being the eldest.. I see all of my cousins growing up~ and I felt old~ hahahaha seriously~

But I am glad that they are all healthy and smart!

I love them so much! I don’t want to lost contact with any of them~

Seriously..

I think I am gonna cry~ why must the good times fly??

I want to keep them~

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

From now on.. there’s no more super no.1

It’s just me J

What about super no.1

Nahh there’s no more super no.1

Even I dint get to confess to him~

I know it with my heart that he wont accept me.

He’s just treating me like his friends

I can see it through the way he treat me.. it’s starting to be different. I wonder why?

I guess I better stay lonely. L

Forever waiting for my prince?

Man I relly wish that someone could just protect me. Yeah a prince charming

It’s not that I m dreaming. It’s just that sometimes.. when I am weak I need someone to be there with me

To help me through when I m so far from my family

I wonder when will I ever have someone like that that person that love me and care for me.

He will be there for me no matter what.

When can I ever be in love?

God why are you doing this to me?

I am sick of staying in this room. And fighting the battle alone

A battle that never end. A battle that I hate to be in since primary

God what’s wrong with me? Why must you punish me in such ways? I love you and I trust you

I wonder can you hear my prayers~

2012

Ohhh yeeaaaahhh!!

Damn that was a good movie J

Love it very much! It’s so real.. till the extend that I cried so hard..

Know why, cuz I was thinking.. what if.. what if the mayans were correct?

What if all of these are a warning to us? What should I do??

I am going to lose my family..

I wasn’t even thinking about myself.. In fact if I got the free ticket to get on the ark I would give it up for my family..

Life Let God alone takes my life.

After watching this movie.. everything seems so small to me. I mean

Humans are so weak~ and nature is strong!! God Is great~

All the fame and fortune are nothing to me. Like always :P but I realized that i love no one more than my family. And this is the first time that I ever had this kind of feeling.

I would always think of the person I had a crush on or the one I like when I watch movies.. trying to imagine what if that really happen to me and him~ but never my family.

This time, it’s different!

I only think of my family and saving them. I would sacrifice just for them~ I am not saying that I am some kind of heroin but that’s just my feeling~

I mean.. guys think hard what if all of this really happen??? What should we do??

Any ideas???

When that time comes we will see how desperate, selfish and cruel humans can be!

Just like in the movie~

I don’t really think 2012 is just something to scare us..

I think it’s 50/50 hahahaha

But be prepared cuz all of us learn about the end of days in our religion. And it’s gonna come one day.

Just be prepared.

Popularity?

i know i know..
my blog is getting popularrr!!!! :D

(as if it is)
and i know A LOT of people want me to write about them in my pr i am precious blog.
but some of the people out there are so thick face that they tought that i am writing about them
hahahahahahaha

yeah i know that's funny! i cant belive there are such peolpe out there.
i just want to declare that
i only write about the people that i care and love in my blog!

sorry for thoes out there that i never mention you name in my blog.
you are not important to me at all~

GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU DEMON~!

Pagi indah 22 November

today is a happy day!!! :)

know why?? cuz i m at JB.. ohh yeah ahhhaaa!! not only that! i m with my beloved family :)

damn 18 years of life.. i just realised how much i actually love them..
i mean ont only my parents and sisters but also my beloved cousins.. huuuu

i really enjoyed my day~
u know~

without her.. with out the smell.. without them.. without him~

my world is just like how it used to be :) wuuuuuuuuu~

i love it :)

Hujan Petang November 18

hari ini hari yang tak brape nak indah~

aku bangun awal.. kelas bermula pada pukul 9.30am

ku duduk di tempat yang biasa dengan orang yang sama
tengok cikgu yang sama...

tapi ku tetap tidak faham apa yang igin belia sampaikan ;(

aku sakit hati.. aku rasa seperti aku telah menghampakan ibu bapa aku~
walau aku selalu... tetapi, aku ingin berubah~
aku betul-betul harap aku dapat faham apa yang cikgu ajar selepas menulis blog..
tetapi, itu tidak akan terjadi..

aku selalu dalam dunia khayalan ku~
memikirkan orang itu~

entah la.. aku pun bingung~ mengapa aku selalu menunggu call dia, sms dia
aku suka sangat bila dia menghantar sms. Lagi suka bila dia call~
malam itu aku memang tidur nyenyak~

adakah bodo untuk menunggu sesuatu yang aku tidak akan dapat?
aku faham sangat, dia cuma menganggap aku sebagai kawan cina pertama dia..
tetapi aku telah terlanjur bila aku nampak dia untuk kali pertama..
aku jatuh lagi dalam selepas mengenali dirinya..

betul, awk memang tasik yang tenang~ walau aku pandai berenang, tetapi aku tetap tenggelam~

inspirasi memang banya.. semasa hujan dan semasa rooamte bodo bangang aku tidak ada dalam bilik~

tenang~ kedenganran bunyi titisan hujan di tepi tingkap~ muka awk pula muncul~
apa harus ku buat???

-senyuman ku.. khas untuk F- :)

Mengejar

apakah yang aku mengejar selama ini??

entah laa~ aku pun tak tahu~

tapi yang aku tahu.. aku sering mengejar kenangan~
kenangan yang manis, pahit dan kadang-kadang gila :)

tapi.. aku masih tidak sedar~ betapa kerap, betapa gigih, betapa cepat ku lari untuk mengejar kenangan.. ia bagai mengejar kekosongan..
kenangan yang telah berlalu tidak akan kembali~

kenapa??
kenapa ku msih degil untuk menerima kenyataan??

ku amat merindui perassan semasa berada di sekolah SULTAN SULAIMAN..
ku rindu kawan-kawan ku, cikgu kesayangan ku~
keadaan sekolah ku~ baju pengawas ku~
semasa kita membincangkan sesuatu
semasa ku dimarah oleh mak ku kerana tidak mendengar nasihat beta :P

kamo yang pernah ku jatuh cinta~
kamo yang pernah ku benci~
kamo yang membuat ku gembira dan sedih~

seandianya kau ada disini dengan ku~
mungkin ku tak sendiri
bayangan mu yang selalu menemaniku hiasi malam sepi ku~ :(

ku ingn kembali ke saat kita ketawa.. ku tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan ku~
ku ingin sangat melarikan diri... kenapa harus ku berada dalam ini??

alangkah baik kalu kamo berada di sisi aku.. sentiasa menemani ku walau dalam apa-apa keadaan.
perasaan sayu, dan sedih selalu menghatui aku.. pada malam yang sunyi~

is there something wrong with me??

i think there's something wrong with me..

ermm ok i got to be honest.. i am kinda.. ermmm
hehehe

crazy~ hahahaha
no i mean.. i can like tons TONS of guys at a time.. lol

the reason i do this is because.. i don't wanna hurt myself anymore..
like i used to be :(

erm i really admire this particullar guy in class..
he's smart(scholarship holder :)
and he got the look.. lol
but kinda skinny too =.=lll

the problem is.. i don't like him as much as i crazily love my super no.1
i guess it's just admire..
i wonder.. why am i feeling sad cuz i just got this feeling that one of my friend likes him~

i am truely happy for her.. but i just dont understand.. why am i feeling sad??
i mean i just ADMIRE him right??

the one i love is my super no.1...
hmmm
i really think that i m crazy sometimes.. i hate myself for being so~!

what's wrong with me??
:(

but that's just my feeling.. maybe the one my friend likes is not him..
:D
but u know.. that kind of feeling.. it's just killing me!
shit i shoudn't have read her blog!
stupid me! :(

p/s i love you super no.1 :)
always do.. always have even you don't realise :)

The Secret

Now that i have know that secret..
i have to apply it...

Thing positive babeh!!!

Good thoughts attract good things..

I AM THE MASTER OF MY THOUGHTS :D

oohhhh yeahhh ahhhaaa~ :)

things around me~

things around me~

why must u leave me hangging here??
when will i get the answer??

or there's no answer to my question??

how many more stupid relationships to let me stop hitting my own head~
to make me realised that i only like YOU!
the only you!!!

how many more times should we talk like friends and pretend that i never like you~
how long can i handdle this??

what's gonna be when i found out that u have found your the other half??
how am i gonna face u??

is this gonna affect our 'friendship'??

i dont know~
but all i know that u are all that i m thinking of everyday~~
it's all about you, your face, your smile in my head!
i m crazyyyyyyy!!!!!

i dont want them!
i want you!!!!!!

goshhhh~
:(

that ass hole making my life worse~
what is this all about??
god playing pranks on me?

i guess so~