to forever and always

cheers..

Joy to the world the lord is come :)

and other happy events to celebrate =.=ll

ok~

sorry everyone i don't have sufficient funds in my phone to send or reply Christmas sms..

so sorry~

so now i wanna wish everyone MERRYYYYY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

praise the lord!!

sad that i cnt be in KT.. in AJPC to celebrate..

i miss them a lot~

hope that they still remember me lol~

i'hv been like this invisible person trying to be visible again~

sometimes i think that i am trying too hard

and people are starting to forget and ignore me.

i dont mean anything, but that's just my thoughts.

and i just found out that guys kinda like girls that talk less.

weird~

nah i wont FORCE myself to be who i am not ;p

kool~

may 3 of them be happy and together forever

i will always love the little one, although i dont know who he/she is yet but :) i kinda already like you!!

so grow up! and be a good person! may god bless you with everything good in this world. all the beauty and kindness belong to you~

let all the evil and darkness go far away.

grow up.. be a good person little one :)

expect the best in life whenever life gets hard~

you have your love ones waiting :)

and dont keep your auntiesssss to be waiting :D

lol i feel old~ hahaha

time can beat any sportsmen in speed~

it's fast.. way tooooo fast~

final examination will be near soon~ and honestly i hope that i will get pass~

i dont wanna fail

i dont know how to cope with FOA anymore

i m so sorry mom n dad~

i really do wanna make u all proud!

but i dont know y every time i see a SLR.. i go depress and blaming myself for being in DBF.

but it's too late to do anything now~ i'll live with it.

and guys i wanna intro my new friends to you all~ :D

WELCOME DBF2~!

Neglect

i was just surfing the net and suddenly i came across a site that i had been negleting it for 2 years!! lol

i used to surf the web everyday lastime. it's called yahoo Q&A i love that site very much!
and today i dont know what came into me. i just bump in it and started to answer and ask question~

i love it. think i will continue.. u know to catch up~ :)
what a day today~
got myself a spirurina instant cereal and some oat cruhch to bite.. and that's lunch~ :D

enjoy my new year shopping alot! hahahaha

kinda think i am a big spender ;p

thanks mum and dad! i love u miss u!

14/12/2009 Hari yang indah

this is a very special day! for a special person to be brought by god to this world~

that person~ is flawless :)

she is my mummy!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

although your age is increasing but your beauty remais :)

sad that i wasn't there to celebrate :(

we love you from the bottom of our hearts :D

although we always make you mad which i have no idea why~

hmmm

but we dont really mean to.. huhuuu lost in communication sometimes?? hehehe

we just want to say thakans a ZILLON to bring us up :)

we r glad and proud plus really3 lucky! to have u as our mother!!

all i want to say is.. relax lay back take a deep breath.. we have all grown up :) and i hope that i made u proud this 18 years.. although i know i didnt really.. huhu

hmmmm u r my guardian angle..

always there for me..

I LOVE YOU :)

Forbidden Love

Forbidden~
hmmm as u all know i always have a 'THING' for Malay guys~ hahahahahaha

yeahh~
i know it requires alot of sacrifice to actually be with the one i love.
but i didnt know it would be that terrifying after i read a book called forbidden love. i got it randomly in my library~ ;p
it's about a love story.. Christian and Muslim~ Cool??!!
anything familiar to u?? hahahahaha

it's kinda like Malay and Chinese in Malaysia~
but our rules are not as strik as in Jordan, Arab~ grateful about it! i really cant imagine being tied up like the Arabian woman~
i would go crazy.. even for half a day~ damn!!!

by the way~ this story really struck my hard~ it's like BAMMM!!! something hit hard on my head~
i never really realised what i had brought myself into.. i mean having that 'thing' for Malay guys..
it's not really "forbidden" in Malaysia. but i didnt consider the consequences..
=.=lll i dont know what am i thinking.. well it's not my fault that i am attracted to them. i just cant control myself..

i tried really hard to like Chinese guys ok!
i really do!
but i cant find anything that interest me.. they r stereotype.. the hair style.. the dressing.. the thinking.. the way they talk~ they way they walk~
i dont seem to feel that i belong to any of the categories though~
sometimes i feel like.. i cant fit in~ like i dont belong here... i feel like i am all alone in this empty hollow world.
where am i????

i am lost totally~
hmm but really do enjoying reading the book~ :) although i m not finish yet~ hahaha
this book also talks about women's right!!
yeahh imagine if i were born in Arab~ i have no rights to do anything~
i had to listen to MEN!! that's so not me..
i dont really 'obey' anyone.. hahahahahaha and u want me to be controlled by Men??

hahahahahaha no way~
that's not my Principe of life at all~
and being controlled is no life at all~

well, for me. if i really love someone.. and that someone loves me too~
and if and only if we r not from the same religion i would run away with him~
to a place that we can live freely..
but i dont think my dad would stab 12 times in my chest just like the girl in the book when her father found out that she was dating a christian guy~ and even called her a whore..

ewwww they didnt even fuck??
hmmm
i came to realised that. i am an alien. from out of space. here to observe humans. or am i just a weirdo myself??? I DONT KNOW!

but i do know something.
i am waiting for a prince.. to save me. from everything.. mybe another alien of my own kind. i dont know..

can i sat i leave it all to god??
no~ cuz i dont think god would ever give me such guy~ so there's no use to pray for it.
it will never happen~
i am always dreaming..

forever is.. forever will..

dear god. i do love you~ and i hope that you show me some signs..
i've been praying so hard that.. sometimes i feel like giving up~
please dont let me do that..
please let my faith say strong with you!
Please..
in the name of god i ask for your guidance and protection.. Amen

101

heeeeee celebrate the blog! it's the 101 post!

COOL~

hidup aku tidak sempurna.
aku bagai hidup dalam neraka~

dalam bilik yang busuk, hapak.. dan bau coli busuk~
dengan orang yang aku harapkan dia mati~

alagkah baik jika aku tiada disini~
kalau nasib aku baik~

tetapi semua itu tidak mungkin terjadi~
di mana putera ku??
aku bukan superwoman
walaupun aku gagoh perkasa..
tapi aku betul2 tidak boleh tahan dengan keadaan sekarang.

aku ingin sangat ade seseorang menghulurkan tangan dan bawa ku lari daripada semua ini!
aku tak kisah ke mana orang itu nak bawa aku~ janji aku keluar dari neraka ini~

aku hampir tumbang~
Tolong aku???

where is my prince to save me from hell~

-101 middle finger to bitchy witch-

The Ugly Truth

:)

people hate to know the truth.
why?? because they r afraid.. afraid that what they thought was actually their imagination.
It was not what it really was.

since people hate to know the truth, they learnt to fake~
yeahhh fake everything

don't be surprise that if one day you found out that you husband was not the guy you used to date.
althought they might be physically identical but their character maybe be totally different. and that's the ugly truth that leads to divorse.

same as guys. who love hot sexy skinny bitch~ one day you will realised that she is not the one you love. Padan muke! hahahahaha

why r girls now a day killing themself to be skinny??
simple just to impress dumb GUYS! ass hole~

and guys don't fall in love.
they fall in LUST!
all they think about is to 'pop' the cherry!
dont you girls realise?? they like you because of your body and not who you really r~
they dont see it if u r more beautiful inside.. all they think about is how you make them feel good in bed!
once they got you.. they treat you like.. i dont know.. rubbish??

i know i am fat, bitch! unfortunatly i m not fake like those skinny bitch out there~
yeah i am so stupid that i actually thought that i would find a guy that like me for who i am~

nahhh i was stupid.. guys love skinny faking fucking bitch~
guys won't like me, even my own father said that :)

yeahhh~ what i m is not important. how i live is what i prefer people to know~
i know that i m fat. but i know how fat i am. i can estimate ok~

i m fat but i wont cause earth quakes when i jump (no one in this world will)
i m fat but i wont cause the swimming pool to dry up when i jump into the pool(no one will)
I m fat but i cant swallow a cow
I m fat but i can dress nice and be pretty
i m fat but i can live a normal life
I m fat but i have feelings
don't you ever realise??
I m fat but i got to ammit that i dream of having someone to like me
I m fat with dignity
I am fat.

yeah fat people r just laughing stock to joke about~
NO you r fucking wrong~

This is my own version of the ugly truth~

who cares

who cares if they know all about them~

what's so fucking great about them

they r bunch of colour..

wat ever.. i wont be sucking dick at least and swallowing other people's tongue..

Pagi 3 December yang CERAH!

yeah, that's my new look :)
pada pagi yang mulia ini~ aku malas nak bangun.. so ponteng lecture.. huuuuuu :P



soryyyyyy



hehehe



tido lewat sangat~

english pulak~ ;)



i watched new moon with my sister on monday! damn it was nice :D

i totally fall in love again and again woth jacob black!

hahaha

i just love his abs~ and his skin tone.. and him.. and his hair ohhh i love everything about him!!!

i like edward too but i think if i were bella swan i would chose jacob~



damn bella is so lucky to have to guys protecting her..

and she's not lonely.. unlike me :)

i had to do everything alone.. lol that's ok one day my monk will come to me.. hahahaha

know why i use the word monk?? cuz i like guys with really short hair and monk don't date.. so i probably wont get the chance to find him for the rest of my life :P



and i cut my hair real short! REAL SHORT! hahaha



if cutting my hair would let me start again and forget about him.. i would like to be bold! :D

it really hurts to see my beloved beautiful messy hair being cut.. but it hurts more when i think about him

but that's old story! since i cut my hair new life begin! ok new life..



and porm nitght sucks! but luckily my muscle man was there! hahahaha

i do hope that we can be friends.. start from the basic.. but i dont think it's possible. so why bother thinking.. huuuuu



i think i am depressed.. i need inspirations.. i need a doctorrrrrrrrrrrrr! woooooooow!!!

HELLO

hehehe just wanna tell you guys that i m not crazy to update so many post in one shot~

that are all the stuff i wrote when i cant publish :D

since the connection is good! so i upload everything :)

Lonely night

I am alone in the room.. not my hostel room but my aunt’s house.

Just came back from JB~

I love it! It just drives me back to my childhood! When my cousins and I are close J

When we used to play together and laugh as we want!

Eating nice food and playing games.. watching tv till middle of the night and share stories J

I miss it! And that also made me realized I am not alone..

Today, before coming back to kl~

My aunt stop by yong peng! An old hose of my grandmother..

Omg my tears were about the shed.. it’s been years sins I last visited that house.

I think the last time was when ,my grandfather passed away~

And that’s it..

The house used to be crowded with children and relatives J

That was like a place we gather during holidays.. where my cousin and I college our childhood memories lol

That place means a lot to me.. I think it means a lot to others too…

Being the eldest.. I see all of my cousins growing up~ and I felt old~ hahahaha seriously~

But I am glad that they are all healthy and smart!

I love them so much! I don’t want to lost contact with any of them~

Seriously..

I think I am gonna cry~ why must the good times fly??

I want to keep them~

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

From now on.. there’s no more super no.1

It’s just me J

What about super no.1

Nahh there’s no more super no.1

Even I dint get to confess to him~

I know it with my heart that he wont accept me.

He’s just treating me like his friends

I can see it through the way he treat me.. it’s starting to be different. I wonder why?

I guess I better stay lonely. L

Forever waiting for my prince?

Man I relly wish that someone could just protect me. Yeah a prince charming

It’s not that I m dreaming. It’s just that sometimes.. when I am weak I need someone to be there with me

To help me through when I m so far from my family

I wonder when will I ever have someone like that that person that love me and care for me.

He will be there for me no matter what.

When can I ever be in love?

God why are you doing this to me?

I am sick of staying in this room. And fighting the battle alone

A battle that never end. A battle that I hate to be in since primary

God what’s wrong with me? Why must you punish me in such ways? I love you and I trust you

I wonder can you hear my prayers~

2012

Ohhh yeeaaaahhh!!

Damn that was a good movie J

Love it very much! It’s so real.. till the extend that I cried so hard..

Know why, cuz I was thinking.. what if.. what if the mayans were correct?

What if all of these are a warning to us? What should I do??

I am going to lose my family..

I wasn’t even thinking about myself.. In fact if I got the free ticket to get on the ark I would give it up for my family..

Life Let God alone takes my life.

After watching this movie.. everything seems so small to me. I mean

Humans are so weak~ and nature is strong!! God Is great~

All the fame and fortune are nothing to me. Like always :P but I realized that i love no one more than my family. And this is the first time that I ever had this kind of feeling.

I would always think of the person I had a crush on or the one I like when I watch movies.. trying to imagine what if that really happen to me and him~ but never my family.

This time, it’s different!

I only think of my family and saving them. I would sacrifice just for them~ I am not saying that I am some kind of heroin but that’s just my feeling~

I mean.. guys think hard what if all of this really happen??? What should we do??

Any ideas???

When that time comes we will see how desperate, selfish and cruel humans can be!

Just like in the movie~

I don’t really think 2012 is just something to scare us..

I think it’s 50/50 hahahaha

But be prepared cuz all of us learn about the end of days in our religion. And it’s gonna come one day.

Just be prepared.

Popularity?

i know i know..
my blog is getting popularrr!!!! :D

(as if it is)
and i know A LOT of people want me to write about them in my pr i am precious blog.
but some of the people out there are so thick face that they tought that i am writing about them
hahahahahahaha

yeah i know that's funny! i cant belive there are such peolpe out there.
i just want to declare that
i only write about the people that i care and love in my blog!

sorry for thoes out there that i never mention you name in my blog.
you are not important to me at all~

GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU DEMON~!

Pagi indah 22 November

today is a happy day!!! :)

know why?? cuz i m at JB.. ohh yeah ahhhaaa!! not only that! i m with my beloved family :)

damn 18 years of life.. i just realised how much i actually love them..
i mean ont only my parents and sisters but also my beloved cousins.. huuuu

i really enjoyed my day~
u know~

without her.. with out the smell.. without them.. without him~

my world is just like how it used to be :) wuuuuuuuuu~

i love it :)

Hujan Petang November 18

hari ini hari yang tak brape nak indah~

aku bangun awal.. kelas bermula pada pukul 9.30am

ku duduk di tempat yang biasa dengan orang yang sama
tengok cikgu yang sama...

tapi ku tetap tidak faham apa yang igin belia sampaikan ;(

aku sakit hati.. aku rasa seperti aku telah menghampakan ibu bapa aku~
walau aku selalu... tetapi, aku ingin berubah~
aku betul-betul harap aku dapat faham apa yang cikgu ajar selepas menulis blog..
tetapi, itu tidak akan terjadi..

aku selalu dalam dunia khayalan ku~
memikirkan orang itu~

entah la.. aku pun bingung~ mengapa aku selalu menunggu call dia, sms dia
aku suka sangat bila dia menghantar sms. Lagi suka bila dia call~
malam itu aku memang tidur nyenyak~

adakah bodo untuk menunggu sesuatu yang aku tidak akan dapat?
aku faham sangat, dia cuma menganggap aku sebagai kawan cina pertama dia..
tetapi aku telah terlanjur bila aku nampak dia untuk kali pertama..
aku jatuh lagi dalam selepas mengenali dirinya..

betul, awk memang tasik yang tenang~ walau aku pandai berenang, tetapi aku tetap tenggelam~

inspirasi memang banya.. semasa hujan dan semasa rooamte bodo bangang aku tidak ada dalam bilik~

tenang~ kedenganran bunyi titisan hujan di tepi tingkap~ muka awk pula muncul~
apa harus ku buat???

-senyuman ku.. khas untuk F- :)

Mengejar

apakah yang aku mengejar selama ini??

entah laa~ aku pun tak tahu~

tapi yang aku tahu.. aku sering mengejar kenangan~
kenangan yang manis, pahit dan kadang-kadang gila :)

tapi.. aku masih tidak sedar~ betapa kerap, betapa gigih, betapa cepat ku lari untuk mengejar kenangan.. ia bagai mengejar kekosongan..
kenangan yang telah berlalu tidak akan kembali~

kenapa??
kenapa ku msih degil untuk menerima kenyataan??

ku amat merindui perassan semasa berada di sekolah SULTAN SULAIMAN..
ku rindu kawan-kawan ku, cikgu kesayangan ku~
keadaan sekolah ku~ baju pengawas ku~
semasa kita membincangkan sesuatu
semasa ku dimarah oleh mak ku kerana tidak mendengar nasihat beta :P

kamo yang pernah ku jatuh cinta~
kamo yang pernah ku benci~
kamo yang membuat ku gembira dan sedih~

seandianya kau ada disini dengan ku~
mungkin ku tak sendiri
bayangan mu yang selalu menemaniku hiasi malam sepi ku~ :(

ku ingn kembali ke saat kita ketawa.. ku tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan ku~
ku ingin sangat melarikan diri... kenapa harus ku berada dalam ini??

alangkah baik kalu kamo berada di sisi aku.. sentiasa menemani ku walau dalam apa-apa keadaan.
perasaan sayu, dan sedih selalu menghatui aku.. pada malam yang sunyi~

is there something wrong with me??

i think there's something wrong with me..

ermm ok i got to be honest.. i am kinda.. ermmm
hehehe

crazy~ hahahaha
no i mean.. i can like tons TONS of guys at a time.. lol

the reason i do this is because.. i don't wanna hurt myself anymore..
like i used to be :(

erm i really admire this particullar guy in class..
he's smart(scholarship holder :)
and he got the look.. lol
but kinda skinny too =.=lll

the problem is.. i don't like him as much as i crazily love my super no.1
i guess it's just admire..
i wonder.. why am i feeling sad cuz i just got this feeling that one of my friend likes him~

i am truely happy for her.. but i just dont understand.. why am i feeling sad??
i mean i just ADMIRE him right??

the one i love is my super no.1...
hmmm
i really think that i m crazy sometimes.. i hate myself for being so~!

what's wrong with me??
:(

but that's just my feeling.. maybe the one my friend likes is not him..
:D
but u know.. that kind of feeling.. it's just killing me!
shit i shoudn't have read her blog!
stupid me! :(

p/s i love you super no.1 :)
always do.. always have even you don't realise :)

The Secret

Now that i have know that secret..
i have to apply it...

Thing positive babeh!!!

Good thoughts attract good things..

I AM THE MASTER OF MY THOUGHTS :D

oohhhh yeahhh ahhhaaa~ :)

things around me~

things around me~

why must u leave me hangging here??
when will i get the answer??

or there's no answer to my question??

how many more stupid relationships to let me stop hitting my own head~
to make me realised that i only like YOU!
the only you!!!

how many more times should we talk like friends and pretend that i never like you~
how long can i handdle this??

what's gonna be when i found out that u have found your the other half??
how am i gonna face u??

is this gonna affect our 'friendship'??

i dont know~
but all i know that u are all that i m thinking of everyday~~
it's all about you, your face, your smile in my head!
i m crazyyyyyyy!!!!!

i dont want them!
i want you!!!!!!

goshhhh~
:(

that ass hole making my life worse~
what is this all about??
god playing pranks on me?

i guess so~

love

Love.. what is love??

i was so mad at myself.. for choosing that topic to talk about~

i really don't know why though~

i cant rmmber a thing when i went out there..


i guess you really took a part of me when left~

seriously~
:(

hmmmmm love~

love love love

i m love drunk~~~
i guess u prefer the old than new~ :)

it's ok! i am ok! we are ok!!!
happy everyday!! :D

Today

Today~
i just wanna talk about my day..

it's juat another ordinary day..
going to lectures and tutorials..

despite the face that i forgot to bring my wallet and i woke up really late..
i have class at 10.30am but i woke up 10.10.. wooow!

not bad..

ok i'll just jump to the main point..

i just can believe he did this to us..
i mean ok we r friends.. and i really do treat him as my friend but what's wrong when i wanna borrow his book to phtostate???

i mean i know that the book i expansive but.. hey we r friends and.

erhhh i was like speechless..
it's ok though.. and now we know how's he like..
the real him..

that's all.. i will still treat him as my friend.. but keep some distance..
to protect myself.. huuuuuuu..

i'm leaving on an aeroplane

hey guys..
i m going back to KL tomorrow morning..

probabbly will reach about 10am.. i guess not sure..

DAMN i sure have fun this 3 weeks! ;)
ate tons of fruits and healthy food.. i even went to the place i miss the most :) THE BEACH!
awwwww i love the sound of the wave......

hmmmm i m gonna miss it all.. and i m also vry excited to go back cuz i m taking a flight!
the best thing is i m ALONE! lol

i just have to get used to it....
guys just wish me luck in everthing~
and i mean it! WISH ME LUCK!

i really hope that i dont fail any of my exams.. hmmmmm

ok what ever.. got to go~

ILYSM! :D
i really do!

Tanpa

Tanpa kamu aku tido tak lena
makan tak knyang
mandi tak basah
kentut tak bau
isap rokok xkau asap
manis tak rse manis
pahit tak rase pahit
msam xrse msam
msin rase manis

hitam mcm putih
putih pulak jadi pink~~~

tngok ape yg tjdi pda sy tanpa kamu???????

hahahahahahahahahaha

it's just for fun~ ;)

ILYSM! heeeeeeeee

October

This is the 1st day of the month.. ;)
obviously..

and 4 more days and i m gonna go back to kl..
a place that i love and hate..

I HATE YOU! and i LOVE YOU!
=.=lll

i dont know what am i crapping about but i hope thoes who undestands me undestand.. haha
and i am also a liitle bit closer to him ;)

u know u is where he should be now and i m going to be where i should be..

hope to meet him.. damn i dint get to meet him when we were in Kt.. that sucks~
i guess he's bz with his friends and me with mine..

what ever it's no big deal~
cant wait to go see my lovely friends.. and cant wait to face anything that i should be facing.. hope god's with me.. Amen..

25/10/09

He is my super No.1

The freaking lump is officially out of my chest :)

well i did it nervously.. damn! how could someone be so cool with it!!
like he's so used to it??

but no answer were given YET! so we r still friends i really hope this wont affect anything~ hehehe

Itu dia
Lelaki yg buat ku jatuh cinta
Orang yg snagt istimewa untk ku
V r still friends..
Entahlah bile kite bleh bhagia
Untk mnjalani hdup brsama
Forever forever
And forever
Is it possible??
Z hope so :)

Damn i can be the second Shakespeare! hahaha

You

;) Freaking imprinted!

fuhhhh.. i think i will do it!
i mean no matter what i just wanna get that lump out of my chest!
what ever your answer or reaction is i m going to vomit it out!

i think we r mature enough to think over it!
no matter what happens later
we r still the same as before :)

go yoke! :D

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

woow i cant believe it's another year again :)

since last year~

well i hope to spend my time with my friends...

maaf zahir batin!

pose penoh xehhh???

hahahahahhaaaa

slamat2 :)

August Rush~ NO RUSH

i changed my mind..
i mean not chicked out~

but
i think it's not the right time.. to do what i am planning~
i start to wonder.. i really feel that way or i think ii should feel that way~

i dont know..
my friends...
they disagree...

but i am head over toes..
hmmm
insane.. but.. not all of them disagree though~
some of them even support me~
but wheni get back home..
and with more time to think~

i thought...

i can wait~
i mean it's not the right time..
altohough the feeling is like bursting out..

but~
hmmmm

maybe he's not the one for me.
and i m not the one for him..

maybe i m born not to have any one...

u know fat soul like me. :)
i guess i m just making a fool of myself infront of others..
i m just a laughing stock~

hahahaha
isn't it funny?

but it's the fact.. the world is cruel.. it even rimes~
perfect compeptition i'll just have to take it~

so no rushing~

Confession of the heart

I am glab to be at home now..

only God knows how much i miss home..



:)

hmmm what's my confession?

after watching final destination.. haha i know i know..
i think that humans r so tiny and weak~ we cant fight destiny, the way we die.. how old we will live..how we look.. wrinkles.. and many many more

but we humans r vry bold! we though that we can handle everything.. we can control the world and the things happening..

but the fact is we are still way behind and weak to take control~

we dont know how where when we will die..
life's short.. our very first destination is our final destination..

dont you think so??
i mean after we r born we have to die..
what's the purpose to be born if we have to die???

haha! that's when i realized that everyone is born with a mission..
and after the mission is accomplished we eventually die...

this is just my theory though..

that's why after watching that movie.. i decided to live life to the fullest.. like my best friend used to say :D

i will complete my mission and die peacefully..
i hope so~
we dont know what will happen next..

today i maybe alive but we will never know if tomorrow never comes....

that's y i will try hard to do the best in everything.. to live :)
my life's not all about study.. life's all about fun! EVEN God wants us to have fun!
do you know that?
so i am gonna say it out after all..
i am prepared~

fuuuuhhhhhh i hope so! hehe

hope u enjoy reading :)
it's getting really late and there's a storm coming.. so i better go off to bed~

night :)

deeper conversation.

Not as delicious as they look ;P
I love you guys!!!

18?
yeah i am indeed 18 now..
lol

it was so different to be far from home.. and even celebrating my 1st birthday at a place that don't seem to be familiar.
with the people that i am going to be close with for quite sometime..

lol
18 birthday.. i was really fun and surprising despite the face that i am born on the national day.. but who cares??

no one.. i am just a soul like everyone else..
no different~

but i am really glad and happy to know the people around me..
they make me feel so like a family..

i really wish not to end this closed linked relationship cuz i know i began to love them..

18 seem old to me.. i dont know why but i just feel old.. i wonder..
well i cant write long cuz i am not using my laptop now..
more update later plus pictures! :D

Dreams

Why do we dream??
i dont really understand though..

i mean dreams always make me uncomfortable with myself..
every night before i close my eyes.. i pray that i dream about u..

but what do i get.. things that i dont expect.. things that i dont want to even think about...

i was so busy this few days.. i had no time to relax.. to take a ddep breath.. to smell.. to DREAM

it's good sometimes to dream but dont be too carried away.. "u can dream but dont make dream ur master" a poem from a dad to his son.. i forgot the title but it's in my form5 literatutre..

:)

i was really dissapointed and even mad at few things last few weeks i wanted to just post it..
but that stupid connecttion in my hostel really kills me.. i was so frustrated that i dont even want to touch my laptop.
i want to just throw everything away~

obviously it's just a kind of emotion.. i wont.. lol~

i am really happy that my dad came today.. i always wanted to eat with him :D especially when i am so far away~ i do miss my family.. my house :(

YOKE sabar laaa nehhh!!!!! brape minggu lagi leh balik!!!!
huhuuu

No shining stars in Kuala Lumpur

ask your self before u proceed reading~ :)

do read while playing what about now-daughtry
is there any stars in KL? NO~

i mean kids that grow up in KL can hardly see stars all they can see in the night sky is just

vivid aeroplane or helicopter's light and they some times mistaken them as stars! lol

and i would like~ ermmhh.. stars wont move that fast..



what i mean is city kids are different.. they are not that close to nature.

and sometimes they really get on my nerve~

no more moral values no more humanity.. zero!

why???

what happen to the education???

FAIL man!!!!

how can it turn out to be like this??

i though we r suppose to live together as one..

nothing to do with our religion or race or skin colour ohhhh who cares..

i am just a lonely blogger that no body really notice my post even..

so why bother...

Kissing???

Angel KissThis is a sweet, comforting kiss. Gently and ever so lightly kiss your partner either on the eye lid or right next to the eyes.

Cheek KissA friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

Butterfly KissWith your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

Freeze KissExperiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.

Eskimo KissWith your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.Earlobe KissGently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.French KissThe kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss"because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues.

Forehead KissThe "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

Foot KissAn erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it!
To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.Hickey KissThe object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

Hand KissGently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

Hot/Cold KissGet a cold drink and put some in your mouth. Have your partner gets a hot drink and puts some in their mouth. You then French kiss leaving a sensational feeling.

Letter KissSend your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX.

Mistletoe KissSurprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.

Neck KissCome up behind the person you want to kiss. Lightly lick the back of their neck, then kiss the back of their neck a few times.

Neck Nibble KissGently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

Nip KissThis kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips.You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

Shoulder KissSimply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.

Sip KissTake a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.

Stomach KissGently kiss and nibble on your partners stomach, and sometimes it leads to other things..

Talking KissWhisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth.If caught in the act, simply say, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

Tiger KissQuietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.

Tongue KissWhile french kissing your partner, gently suck their tongue while it's in your mouth. This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both!Quickie KissWhen you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

Upside Down KissYou stand behind your partner (who is seated or laying down) and have them tilt their head back.Then kiss them so that you nibble their lower lip and they nibble yours. This is fun and feels good because you can feel them breathing on your neck as you kiss.

Underwater KissFind your partner under water. Embrace and kiss. It's a unique and wonderful feeling. By the time you run out of air, you'll be back at the top. Continuing the kiss is optional.

Underwater Deep End KissDive to the bottom of the deep end of a pool. Find your partner under water and begin kissing. Continue as you rise to the top.

Vacuum KissWhile kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.

Virtual KissFor Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-* .

The Wave KissWhile kissing your partner, slowly roll your tongue like a wave, up and down.It can be a little sloppy, but it's a unique feeling and always gets a little laugh when it's done.

Huggies anyone??

'I Love You' Hug
A close cheek-to-cheek hug that says
"I Love You"

even more with an added kiss on the lips.'I Want You Now' Hug
A close hug with a bit of rubbing and grinding.

Big Bear Hug
Pull your partner in really, really, really close, put your arms completely around them, and squeeze tight.

Butt Squeeze Hug
A sexy, passionate hug. Pull your partner in close, lift your leg around their legs and give their butt a passionate squeeze.

Ecstatic Jump-n-Hug
Run at your partner and jump into their arms with excitement!

Encouraging Hug
Pull your partner close and give them a gentle squeeze with a light pat on the back.

Friendly Hug
Put your arms lightly around your partner's shoulders and give a gentle squeeze.

Group Hug
A hug involving multiple people - family or friends - where you all put your arms around one another.

Half Hug
A quick wrap, lightly touching your partner where your arms only go halfway around (hence, half a hug).

Hello & Goodbye Hug
A quick, semi-close hug paired with a kiss on the cheek.

Hug of Joy
A semi-close hug with excitement and movement that often times includes a bit of excitement jumping.

Passionate SqueezePull your partner in closely and give them a passionate squeeze as you gently kiss along their neck.S

nuggle Hug
Usually works best when sitting on a couch, etc. Drape your arm around your partner's shoulders and snuggle up in close!

Spoon Hug
While not normally thought of as a hug, the 'spoon' is essentially your arms wrapped around your partner -- a hug! While lying in bed on your side, pull your partner close and wrap your body around theirs in a 'spoon' position.

Sympathy Hug
Pull your partner close and lay their head lightly on your shoulder as you give their back a light rub.

Tree Hug
Find a large tree (perhaps while picnic-ing), and each partner wrap their arms around the tree to meet the other partner's hands.

Let GO~

Let go... why??

i've been asking myself..
why some of my friends are no who they used to be last time.. before we grow up..
before we finish spm..

i really do miss the days when we were younger.. the days when we cared for each other..
the days when we dont think so complicated.. when we used to laugh and do silly things together..

hmmm how i wish i can turn back time..
but this past month i realised that most of my friends.. they dont seem to look back anymore..

i asked my mom.. and the answer she gave me "they move on.. and u too should let go and move foward and not back ward"

i think about here answer for a while.. means that i cant really accept for that mean time..
but now.. i finally understand..

I HAVE to let go..
let go for a better future..
to let go.. to put new things in your future..
to meet new people.. new situation to grow..

do i have to let go completely??

i dont think so..
i still can keep that memory in my heart and maybe take it out once in a while..
i wont forget my friends.. i mean i m not like some of the people out there who completely erase their previous memory.. no i wont..

that's why i am not changing the address of my blog.. :)
cuz it's easy to remember hahahahahaha
even there's no more 5taqwa.. and few years from now.. no body will remember 5 taqwa anymore.. but they cant deny the momories we had. :)

YOKE.. Let go.. MOve foward :P

makes me think~

i love to think~
not really thinking though.. more to day dreaming.. lol~
despite being busy everyday but i will still give myself atleast a second or two..
just to make my mind drift to a far distance..

or is it maybe after i read the book mr.darcy and me~
hmmm
i m always into old fasion and vintage..
i love antique... i love the time when men were more honest.. reliable and charming :D
those were the days when people really know the true meaning of LOVE..

i studied teenagers or even adults now a days they dont really know the meaning of undying love and helplessly devoted to someone(LOL i said it as thought i know)
to be honest.. i happen to have some oppinion about love...

for me love is something unconditional..
i mean u can love someone unconditionally (like me to my parents and vice versa :D)
u can fall in love so deeply with a person even when everybody's talking bad things about him/her.. you r deaf.. love blocks every bad thing that is going into you~
and when u r in love.. u r really devoted to that someone..
everything about that person seems to be important to you..
even the tiniest bit of all~

love is undying.. and there wont be a expiery date...
love is so not the type of CINTA KONTRACK(omg it's so damn childish)
i personally.. wont and cant accept that kind of.. JOKE???

hmmmm.. i m really sick of doing things that i m doing now..
i hope to take jean austin's advice...
i m trying.. really hard..
hmmmmm

Perasaan ku

perasaan ku??
yeah yeahh i know i am a girl with lots of feelings~
hehehehe


in Terengganu.. my home town.. the place where i were brought up.. i am sorry that i had to leaf to another state that is familiar yet so new to me..
the people here are totally different. different in the sense that their thoughts and life style and attitudes..

i remembered well.. in my mind.. Chinese Malay and Indian lived together as one in my small town.. but i though that they would be closer in the big city~
but i soon found out that i was so wrong...
i cant believe that what i am seeing .. hearing or even experiencing here..

i just dont understand y?
i always thought that we are ONE.. i mean.. where is perpaduan kaum?? where is budi bahasa??
where is all the nilai nilai murni???!!!!

OMG! i know that i am not a budi bahasa tyoe or person but.. this is far worse that i had imagine~

how can this happen??
when are we going to achieve 2020??
i am so so sooooo worried that 13may might happen again~
i am really afraid..the kind of fear that i cant explain..
the fear of loosing my love ones and my friends of different race and religion...

i cant bare it anymore~
everything seems to be ok~
the truth is far worse...

more illustration on next blog.. bila inspirasi ku datang! :D

11 JULY

what's so special about THE DAY??
i dont know..

it's just somebody's birthday~
lol

actually... it's not just somebody~
it's HIM!
that guy~
that seems so familiar yet so unfamiliar to me..
a phase of growing..
a little crush~

a cute guy that i had knock myself onto so hard till i was hurt all over~
i promise myself i will always remember him~
but i guess i am not significant~ just a tiny dust in his eyes~

i love his smile and still do..although i cant look at him carefully anymore
but his features are all hand craft in my head~
it's difficult for to even forget his birthday~

i am just a nonsense just a lunatic to him~
but dose he know that he means so much to me...
i just dont know why~~

it's a week after his birthday~

happy birthday~ the guy beside the window~

RM3

can u buy a heart with RM3??

hmm i really dont know what to say bout this..

am i a hypocryte?

am i money minded..

argghhh!! i can believe he bought my heart by using 1 and almost 2 years of time and rm3.. lol

but i am still cnfused.. he bought my heart by phone calls.. and almost 2 months.. hahahahah

man i am crazy~

WORDS

are the words the truth?
the beautiful words..
so sweet and suiting flowing into my ear.
why cant you just tell me?
or it's my fault that i m blinded...

i am really happy that u said u wish that i were at your house.. and we can talk face to face
i am really happy that u called me
i am really happy that u dont mind
i am really happy that u r what u r now...
or would u change?

i am also happy that i am far away from u cuz i know u missed me :)
i dont know am i the one... but sometimes i hope that i am the only one
i wonder what u talked about with her..
i wonder do u still like her?
i hope that u realised.
i hope that u call me everyday
i hope that the phone bill is free and we would talk day n night

i love the way u talk to me
i love your laughter although i can just hear them

i wish to see u but not your picture
i hate to quarrel with u
i dont wanna make u mad
and i hope u wont ever break my heart again.

i hope i can be loyal and like u with all my heart but no
i realised and awaken when u last hurt me..
and i cant really go back to who i was cuz i find the fun and pleasure being who i am

cuz i am in love with both of u...
i hate telling u lies that u dont even realised.
i am truly sorry..
for me this is just... a game.. a game that i had lost badly but rebuilding it with new strategies.
i hope that u forgive me.
i hope to get both of u.
as if i can~


am i crazy for wrintng these?
i dont know.. it's just what i feel...

H1N1

what the hell man~
what's with the h1n1??

sick of it!
sick of wearing mask
it's damn hot! and a person like me.. sweat like hell wearing it.. huhuu
but prevention is better than cure... right???

but some of the people here..
i mean thoes jerks!
laughing and teasing people that r wearing mask.
what r u trying to prove?
u r not afraid? u r stupid? u r childish? go eat my shoe!!!
damn i hate them...
lol

college life's so far so good.. i dont really have any BIG trouble yet..
but i really do worry bout the flu though~
trying my best to prevent it~ :)

terengganu it still the best! :D
i miss my family so much! huhu
and my friends
y must we be appart??
i really do miss u..
when can we meet again???

although u would call me once in a while.. but there's no 3G here.. lol
i enjoy talking face to face with you~
i really regreted not taking picture with u at the bus stand
and really thank you 4 being there with me...
i think i am falling.. slowly.. into..... lol

wokay3.. enough~
that's privet hahahahaha

call me more ok! some times i do get bored here u know... and stress out..
i suddenly miss ur support and your smile..
i miss the way u give 2 thumbs up when ever i finish a presentation..
i miss it when u look at me
i miss it when we would joke and talk during klas kenegaraan and all
i miss you!

huhuuu i miss gossiping with u in I-3
i miss the laughter
i miss the cat walk and the silly jokes..
i miss getting roll call and getting punish
i miss running with u all and eating together..

I MISS MISS MISS!!! i am going crazy!! help anyone??

JAPANESE!

SUSHII

SEDAP AHH!!!

cute little jelly

clammm

SUSHIII

ohhh yeahh aahaaa
hehee
i really enjoyed myself in KL!
with my room mate Stella from Sarawak!

she is kinda cool
u know~ the kind who know how to enjoy life hahaha
well she brought me and my floor mate ling fang~
to a super duper Japanese buffet! at shasaki restron
the food was damn nice i'hv never seen so much food before in my whole life
and i cant even finish i was so full till my whole stomach bloated!
wooooow!
this is the life~
i dint even get to try all of the food!
i was tooo toooo much! hahaha
but the price was ermm hahaha
about rm50 per person~

it is ok?? :P
but i really do enjoy it!
hope that stella would bring me there again next time~hehehe

Lecture Hall

HELLUUUU

this is my 3rd week in college..

:))

so far so good!

sure i met some new friends

and they r nice to me huhuu

i started co-co today

guess what i register 4???

hehehehe

i took gym workout!

OOHHHYEAHHH ahhhhaaa

cool???

can lose weight!

hahahahahaha

the lectures r ok..

i think i can get understand most of the subject and all

have to be really hard woking here

have to finish tutorial home work huhuu

and i wanna settle my ptptn 1st~

WORK WORK WORK~

always busy and rushing~

:((

wokay got to go~ enjoy the pictures :P