When you know, you are on path.
that does not happen to me often.
I am always out of place. always awkward and sweaty.
but with you, nothing seems to matter anymore.
Fate. Our paths tangled. You hurting me driving me away.
Me stop fighting for what i wanted most, and yet. two diverged road combined.
and there we met again.
I packed and did not unpack for a long time. What was i waiting for? was it another trip? was it someone coming, pull me out from reality?
Things weren't that simple after all.
Waiting wasn't the solution anymore. I had to. I had to move.
I reached Malaysia. It felt right.
When the cabin door opened i knew. My old friend, the sea breeze is always there to welcome me.
each stroke on my face, whispers "welcome home Yoke."
Home. 4 letters, such simple word, yet meant so much to me.
Staying home was the best. I was well taken care of. What I did for the few weeks at home was waking up, working out, tiny bit of house work, meeting friends, watching food network controlling my lust for food. Which did not work out well.
One day. one phone call. one simple suggestion. just one. and i am off again
Away from home.
I got a job. A job that I never asked for, never dream of, never imagine doing. and here comes my most dreadful enemy - reality.
It was awful, horrible, agonizing for the first 10 painstaking days.
no words to describe how i felt.
I had to. I had to look for my miracle grass.
Yes. Miracle grass.
Miracle grass that fuck me up.
broke me down.
Changed my name and cut my hair. never thought that I did this just to fit it. Just to satisfy reality.
Reality is like this dark tunnel. Just hold your breath and make a wish.
We officially broke off. This is it. This is the end.
No more making up and breaking up.
I've had enough of the fucking routine that i had to go through with him.
Just stop.
Let her go - passenger was the best song for him. He just wouldn't listen.
And there you came. once again in my life. You annoying ass hole.
annoying ass hole that i couldn't let go.
annoying ass hole that i want so badly to be with me when i feel like shit.
I would stand at my balcony, waiting for you and your black horse.
that smile that you gave me each time you see me.
That genuine smile is all i asked from him. The one that let me go.
The one that i once thought I love.
You don't need to fight nor compare, your smile is enough to make my heart stop.
that smile that makes me call you summer.
We kissed. and that feeling was. Right.
being with you is like I've never been in love before.
You are so tall that i had to tip toe kiss you.
So basically, i did not upload any pictures from my Europe trip.
friends that turned against each other. Was it me? or was it the fact that I am just like this.
typical Yoke. Yes. typical, cutting off any old classmates. I do not have any explanation for doing what i do. but i just do.
I drive now. Yes. I drive now, that's a good start. :)
something for me to keep holding on.
Having a job is like eating up my dreams and childhood pieces by pieces.
I just hate being an adult, having responsibilities and shit.
so. good bye days. just 3 little birds on my wrist to remind me of freedom.
talking to you for hours felt right.
so are you the right one?
All it takes is three simple words to explain a complicated relationship. I love you. I am still waiting for my i love you. Love.
-i just want to lalala with you-
