Hari Merdeka

Today is Malaysia's National day/ Independence day.

and i was born 20 years ago. this day.

this day used to be the high light of the year.

when i was small, my relatives, family and friends will come around and give me kisses and hugs.

not to forget huge birthday cake and also presents.

as i grow older.

the presents

the laughter.

the fun

the hugs and kisses

all the love.

tend to vanish slowly.

reducing each year.

and the know the day will come to an end where.

today is insignificant at all.

but. thanks for everything.

i didn't want it to be like this.

i didn't want to have to be emo and down today.

I just wanted to meet you.

i don't need any celebrations nor presents.

i just want to be with you.

We are so near. yet the wall. the distance is so far.

i can't even see.

i can't feel you anymore.

you are unreachable.

There used to be fireworks, and parade.

but now. nothing's left.

gone with the development of the country

that is corrupted.

two evil and mean people. the leaders of our country.

yeah. Malaysia Boleh.

they chose Hari Malaysia instead of Hari Merdeka.

we did NOTHING to achieve hari fucking Malaysia.

but the leaders of the times did everything!

blood were shed.

tears were pouring.

to be independence.

i understand that no one cares.

who the hell cares about birthdays anymore?

i am 20 years old today.

thanks to my mother and father.

making me and feeding me.

i am 20 years old today.

I am fat overweight and ugly.

i am 20 years old today.

i hardly make my parents proud.

i love my country the way it was.

without evil people invading without corruptions.

-I am 20 years old today.-

I finished my Diploma

This makes me wants to PUKE!

Why don't anyone sue fucking 8TV?

This is disgusting!

who the HELL will do such a commercial?

Betol aku tak faham! Selama ni aku anggap semua orang sama je.

tak pernah aku nak kutuk, nak maki nak hamun!

Aku terima je apape korang buat.

kadang-kadang ada jugak pasal kaum M yang menyakitkan hati aku!

tapi aku sabar aku terima!

Apa ni? sial la!

kalau betol korang anggap aku macam ni.

terus delete aku dari friend list korng.

aku malu ada kawan macam korng ni!

ada je 2 3 ekor dalam friend list aku yang racist.

aku tak berbudi bahasa macam orang yang buat iklan ini.

aku sabar aku terima.

Sembahyang la 10 kali sehari pun kalau sikap tu tak ubah memang sama je!

tutup la badan tu macam pochong pun kalau gatal tu tetap gatal~

macam la orang yang pakai tudung tutup aurat tu orang baik!

I don't fucking think so!

kalau tak, tak akan wujud la suicide boomer!

may be this is the real world.

i am just too naive to think that we can life peacefully happily under 1 roof.

ashamed! no wonder people are leaving Malaysia for a better place.

curse this and let it be cursed always!

ouh! kalau korang rasa aku cakap pelak, cuba korang cakap BI.

BI je aku tak suruh lagi cakap cina!

Bodoh!

Travel

happy song for depressing souls out there.

Hey.

i know it's been a long time since i last update my

blog.

i've been busy and lazy. despite that i've been traveling :)

not to some exotic places of course.

I went to Malacca it's a small town full of historical traces.

if you study your history well and i bet you know the

story about Praramesuara the little deer and the tree. After that then came the

Portuguese, they were the first to invade Malacca and rule it for more than 100 years. Then came the British and the Japanese and bla3..

I had quite a wonderful time in Malacca. The weather, the people and most importantly the FOOD! the culture and not to forget the architecture there :)

I am literally in LOVE with the Baba Nyonya house.

currently listed as my dream house.

good thing about small town, less traffic and less pollution.

Fruits dipped in rich chocolate

Irresistible DURIAN PUFF!

Next stop Port Klang.

Porky! LOL!

it's famous for it's pork cooked with herbs and tea in a clay pot.

certainly a delicacy.

port Klang is also a small town.

living in a peaceful neighborhood

wooden house. cement floor zinc roof, bathing with a pail scooping up cold water.

people there basically know each other! they are nice and friendly.

not to forget the FOOD there, besides porky the sea food there is also mouth watering.

majority population in these two town are Chinese so, i basically enjoy being a Chinese and eating real Chinese food! :)

hope to go to Penang some day.

I've been eating and going around spending and putting on weight! :-l that's not a good thing.

train heading back to reality

I remembered getting down from the train. feeling the heavy weight on my shoulders again.

why do we have to live with burdens and responsibilities?

I hate to be bothered, this isn't anti social i just need my own space.

I am trying hard to control my temper and my tongue.

and tell me, who love to be told what to do?! I am tired of this. when can this stop? am i going to live this life for another 50 years?

Sick of being surrounded my insecurities. Please just find something and grab hold of it. Not me. I may be Fat but i am not a buoyant. or a log.

I am struggling too. swimming against the current. I mean, who isn't?!

Life's hard. grow up kiddo! you did this to yourself and quit asking people why!

this is insane.

I am not being mean. it's the fact.

you can comment and act as if everything you say is correct but the fact is still the fact.

guess i need to stop acting this way and try to accept people the way they are.

Lord i need you so much!

I really do hope you listen and answer my prayers.

Finals is another 2 weeks. Pray for me. anyone.

i need prayers. I seriously do.

to all my Muslim friends Selamat berpuasa :)

-get the emo out of me-