for the sake of writing

Tuesday. i somehow wish that time could go slower. 

but the other half of me wished that everything is over by now.

Hop on a plane and there goes that girl chasing her dreams. 

I am brave. I am strong. and i am gonna live my beautiful life as full as i can. 

I am determine to shed all this weight by next year. 

for years and years I've been know as "that FAT girl"

Yes I maybe huge and bigger than most of you but hey, i am can still feel.

I did not dropped down from the sky like Mr. Bean. I did not just "pop" out. 

I was made and delivered to this world through my mother's vagina. 

Society tends to discriminate people that are different from them. 

The skinny bitches only want to mix with their own clan. 

as for me the fat girl. float along like an overweight butterfly trying to fit in.

It is ironic when I can't fit into anything. Pretty dresses, pretty clothes, beautiful shoes, pretty accessories, tiny little rings, no cute bag matches what i wear. 

the worst is fitting into "clans" 

i hate to go shopping with pretty skinny super model mannequin size girls. 

what i do is sit and look at them try on clothes, outfits, shoes and tight small stuff that i would kill to wear. 

I would die to just be average one day. Just once. but God did not made us to be weak. 

He wants us to challenge ourselves 

Pushing to the limit!

So here i am. Challenging myself. 

Changing to be better. Not to fit in though, just to let myself have the chance to be a bitch.

once in my life time. I can wear pretty dresses, feeling confident and attractive. 

Many people don't know that i LOVE LOVE LOVE fashion. funny. I know, i am always a t-shirt, jeans kind of girl through out my whole life. 

I really wanna try something new. 

Just ignore all of the above. it's me being shallow. I am just lonely. 

Society today is getting sicker, mentally. 

the shooting, stabbing, wars. This world isn't fucked up. we fuck it up! 

People just wake up OK! there's more than what you are feeling, what you see is just 10% of life.

DO NOT do anything stupid to get attention or even thinking about ending your life. 

We humans claim to be the "most intelligent" animal on earth. but are we being intelligent?

We studied plants, other species of animals but not our own! there's so little that we know about our own kind. All we see is just the surface. 

Come on people, we should always stick together, through easy happy times and also hard times.

We are all made by the same God Almighty. 

stop the tears. stop the heartache. stop discrimination, change. 

I am not the black sheep of the family anymore. I never was. I was just, different, I was just being myself. 

I've been slacking on my posts lately. I do not have an explanation.

but here i am trying to write again. 

Nope. not going to put pictures in this post either. 

-All of us were born heroes- 

love of my life don't leave me

this is going to be a sad sad blog

i am not going to bother editing pictures or what ever fuck shit in it. i don't care about my spelling or my freaking grammar. i know they sucks! so STOP judging.
i can't even think of a post title right now.

i am sad, depressed, overwhelmed in fact

death, people come and go.
it happens everyday.
i can't stand watching people that i am used to around me leaving.

they leave carrying part and pieces of my heart. my dear grandma. she did not deserve the life she had. i really do hope that she is in a better place right now.

maybe death is her only way to end the sufferings.

To tell the truth i cried really loud and really long in my hostel room when my parents dropped me off during my first semester in diploma.
I am not a cry baby, can't be alone type of girl.

I am in fact quite tough. i think. or not. :( i don't know.
i missed my grandma. I as grow older i begin to realized, things don't last long.

Toys, phones, laptop, water bottles, umbrellas, slippers, shoes, socks, bras, and relationship.
friendship, love hate relationship.

my friend's grandma just passed away, and it seems like i can feel her pain and sufferings. I am sad. heart broken. I am running out of tears if i continue to cry like this.

Suck it up, be strong. I wish i could.
i hate to fake. fake a smile. a laugh. faking that i am interested in what ever shit that you are saying.
My mind heart and soul had depart to a place where things last forever.

love of my life, come back to me.

six months. gone. what the fuck time! what the fuck. :'(

Alpha and Omega

the first and the last.

rainy days always have an indescribable effect on me.
i love to write during rainy days, when the weather is cold, keeps my mind clear and calm.

where to begin? well, this post is actually a collection of my feelings.
last month was quite relax and somehow intense.

I love the fact that my house is always the place that i think of during the moments of darkness.
time certainly flies. no matter how hard i wish and pray that he could stay a little bit longer. Time will still pull us apart again.
this time. maybe even further.

i love you to the moon and back.
No matter how much or how intense our arguments were, no matter how angry I am. I still love you. No matter what.
I know you feel the same too.
I am a difficult and stubborn girl.
I am sometimes mean, and always depend on you to do most of the things. I am demanding and never satisfied, never grateful for everything and anything.

I really love that you could put up with me and my ugliest side.
You are the only one that makes me feel beautiful and confident, you seems to see the best in me. You tried, oh you tired to keep my spirits up and keep me going.

I got so used to you. the fact that we are going to be apart again just unbearable.
no matter how hard or how much i cry, the fact is still the fact.
i just wish we could both run away.

this empty room is filled with memories that means the whole world to me.
I remember you'd hug me whenever i cried watching movies. You'd always make me smile after that.
You and your silly personality, our inside jokes. :(
You are smart and so talented in your own way. I wish that they can just see it all.
a guy that can actually put up with their daughter and their sister. Love her as much as they love her.

He is beautiful inside out.
I am sorry for all the hateful, hurtful, evil words that I've said.
Yes I do. I do hope that you are my Alpha and Omega.

I'll need to keep my chin up. suck it all in! Focus!
patience, time and effort!
to lose weight, my studies and also maintain our relationship no matter how hard it is.

-come on baby we'r gonna fly away from here.-

SEX

Hello ladies and gentlemen boys and girls. 
The topic of the day is. OBVIOUSLY sex :)

This kind of rainy weather is making me horny LOL
WHAT ABOUT SEX?

guys about the age of 16 have this strong drive of hormones they can't control.. the lust for sex
they watch porn, and there's where the masturbating starts, they fantasize about girls they like, getting nervous and all sweaty, uncomfortable around girls. 
the thought of squeezing their breast is killing them. at the mean time, their body is changing, hair growing at the weirdest part of the body, everything is just getting bigger. LOL if you know what i mean. 

for girls, it starts about 12 when your chest hurt to the slightest touch! it hurts no matter what you do especially jumping running, some even have their period already. it's uncomfortable and the body odor.GOD help us.  hair started to grow, and we will be acting all awkward around guys. this is when yo mama will bring you shopping for bras and stuff. LOL those were the days. 

any how, this is not the main point of this post.
I am here to talk about guys and girls that are in a relationship, who already, going to, not thinking, thinking, plotting, waiting to have SEX. 

growing up in a very traditional Asian family, we were taught to only have sex only after getting married, even in any religion, it is advice to do it after you are legally married. 
But that is way back then, as time changes, the perspective on sex changes too. 

personally, i think having SAFE sex is acceptable.
I mean, when you are in a relationship with this guy that is the love of your life "at the time" 
weird thing happens, when you are ready like, holding hands, hugging and cuddling, kissing happens naturally.

THINGS HAPPEN NATURALLY 
the same goes to sex.
Girls don't ever let a guy talk you into having sex with them! have your stand. Don't let him fuck you when you are not ready! 
some jerks will only want to be with you to FUCK you up! if you are not ready to lose your virginity just ditch them.
girl, it's not worth it to be with a guy that DON'T LOVE YOU, the only purpose that he is with you is only for SEX. NO! 
guys are jerks. 

I  can't imagine a guy ask a girl to have sex with them, is it like "hey babe, can i fuck you up tonight?" 
or "hey, you are so hot, i just wanna insert my penis in your vagina." 

Bitch, if he love you enough he wouldn't ask you like that. 
there will be a perfect moment, maybe after he legally became your husband or under any suitable circumstances when both of you are ready to take the responsibilities things will happen.      

Kids now a days are immature and stupid, bitches fuck around just to have fun same goes to guys. 
I mean for me, sex is a very beautiful, sacred thing that you enjoy with the love of your life. 
but there's also a small group of people have this fear of having sex, for them sex is filthy and unacceptable.

I gotta say the sex education system is falling apart. LOL 

kids you will all have the chance to enjoy sex when the time is right, just go back home and study hard ok. 
It's good for some people that have their stand to only have sex after getting married. i salute you, please hold your stand :) 

and for those who already lost their big V, well, fuck safe, we ain't want you to be pregnant before finishing school. 

these are my opinion on SEX, i am not an expert i am just a small little blogger wanna be writer. 
so if you have any comments or suggestions on this topic, do leave your comment below :) 

Good day everyone. 

cloudy day

Hey, i know it's ages since i last posted something.

Do you miss me :)
i have no excuses for not writing. I am simply lazy.

so people come and people go and people come some more.
I finished my semester break.

Went Singapore all by myself to visit a friend
Had the time of my life.
Booze and shopping.

Visited places that i've always wanted to visit. loving the view.
 pictures will be uploaded soon on my facebook :)

Love 

I am officially 21 years old. LOL
my parents bought me a HTC one V
and my boyfriend surprised me with our couple ring and a necklace with out picture on it :)
i love him so much! <3 font="font">my friends treated my like a princess we ate good food and drank good beers. Hakuna Matata.

so far so good. checked my results today it was VERY satisfying <3 nbsp="nbsp">
another year and i will be flying my ass to UK 

all will be well, all is well.

God bless us all.
Good day people.

a little twist of Chinese Valentine's day

Hello i am sad. :(
today may be just an ordinary day. but for us it's the 23rd :)

and as always the 23rd is the most meaningful yet depressing day.

i know i shouldn't be negative especially times like this but i just am.
well, i have no title to this post.

there's this Chinese legend that i want to share.

The legend begin with a good-looking poor orphan boy who owns an old ox. He needed to work on the  farm with his ox everyday. His daily life was just like Cinderella's.

The ox was actually a creature or fairy or something :-S from the Heaven. He made mistakes and was punished as an ox on Earth. (i know it's not logic, but bear with me please) 

 One day, the ox suddenly said to the boy, "You are a nice person. If you want to get married, go to the pond and your wish will come true." So the horny boy went to the pond and saw all 7 pretty daughters of the Emperor gliding down from Heaven (creepy) all hot and sexy with their silky fair naked body, having a pool party. 

Fascinated by the youngest and also the most beautiful one, he took away her fairy clothes away secretly. The other six fairies flew away after the party (bitches). The youngest couldn't fly back without her fairy clothes. Then the boy appeared all horny and told her that he would not return her clothes unless she promised to be his wife. 

After a little hesitation and with a mixture of shyness and eagerness, she agreed to marry this handsome young man. So they got married and had two children.

Horny young adults, falling in love.

One day, the old ox was dying, he told the boy to shred his old skin and that he should keep it for emergency purpose. (ewwww i know right.)

The 7th daughter of Emperor is very good at weaving. The Emperor loved her because she would weave the most beautiful clouds and rainbows, so that the world will be a happier place. 

However, after her love affair with the boy, she never returned. 

The Emperor soon found that the sky's not that beautiful as before. He wanted  to bring her back.  While the 7th princess was flying to the Heaven with her grandmother, the boy wore the ox skin, put his children in two bamboo baskets with his wife's old fairy clothes and chased after his wife.

 The grandmother then made a milky way in the sky which kept them separated. The 7th princess was moved to the star Vega (The swooping - Eagle) in the Lyra (Harp) constellation. And the boy with his two children stayed in the star Altair (Flying one) in the Aquila (Eagle) constellation. The star of Vega is also known as the Weaving Maid (princess) Star and the star of Altair is as the Cowherd (boy) Star in Chinese.

Magpies were moved by their true love and many of them gathered and formed a bridge for the couple to meet in the evening of the 7th day of the 7th lunar month, which is the day the Emperor allowed them to meet once a year.

They said that it's hard to find magpies on Chinese Valentine's Day in China, because all of them are flying away to form a bridge for the princess and the boy. 

Prove? well, since both of the couple are stepping on those magpies, the feathers on the head of the magpies are much lesser after the Chinese Valentine's Day. and if it rains, the rain are the tears of the princess and the poor boy.




by the time you read it i may have came up with the lamest post title as usual.

I've always been in love with writing and journalism. it's always my passion, i've been writing for years now!
I mean come on! i need real life human readers! not some other websites trying to spam my chat box!

I need real comments about my writings. I really want to know who reads my blog and what people think of it.

guess i am celebrating this fucking day as usual.

happy birthday to me.

Being me

Being me is being Fat.

People who hates fat girl like me should be grateful that they are nothing like me.

Do you know how it feels to fight the lust of stuffing my face with food?
No, you don't cuz you can eat and not be fat at all.

Do you know how it feels to eat and regret every bit of it?
No you don't

Do you know how it feels to see people buying clothes and you not buying it cuz you know you'll never fit?
No, cuz you can wear what ever you want.

Do you know how it feels to be teased, discriminate and bullied?
No, cuz everyone likes you.

Do you know how it feels to like someone so fucking damn much and being reject and called names cuz you are fat?
No, cuz everyone likes you.

Do you know how it feels to have negative self esteem?
No, cuz you are goddamn confident.

Do you know how much i want people to notice my talents?
No cuz they are too shallow to only notice my body size.

Do you know how difficult it is for me to smile every time after being teased?
No, cuz you teased me, crushed me inside out.

Do you know how many times i've questioned myself and God what have i done to deserve this?
No, cuz God loves you.

Can you imagine looking in the mirror everyday and wanting to be normal just for a day?
No, cuz you are perfectly normal.

Can you imagine crying myself to be every night praying that tomorrow will be a better day?
No cuz your days are always perfectly fine.

Can you imagine after all the diet plans and everything i am still back to ground zero?
No, cuz you don't need to try to be beautiful. you are beautiful

Can you imagine me trying to fit in but never will?
No cuz you are always welcomed.

I am fat. I just want to love myself more.
this twisted world is never gonna accept people like me.
so i live in my world.
please don't invade it.
I am just another girl.
I have feelings. guess no one realised.

I just want you all to know who I am.
I am not a happy person. never was never will be.

Ambitions or dreams?

Olla :) <3 


so did yall enjoyed my previous post? hope yall did :) 
HAPPY WEEKEND!!! OH lord thanks for the weekend~
i've been fucking busy these few weeks. i can't breath~! assignments mid term tests and all those shits! 
i feel soooooo cooped up and depressed with a bleeding vagina. :( my back hurts. 
NOT anymore lady and gentlemen because...... I've finished most of my work a few tiny little bit and i am off, freedom indeed! 


what inspires me to write this post is "my ambitions" 
do you remember the time when you were in junior high till high school teachers and parents would always ask the same question 
"what do u wanna be when u grow up?" 
"what da ya wanna do?" 


when i was really young i LOVE to sing and dance<< DAMN! drama queen since baby! LOL
but reality crush it i can't dance no more cuz i am not pretty and skinny enough!
SCREW those teachers go fuck yourself. NOT FIT TO BE A TEACHER! I bet your childhood was full of rapist and abuse to cause yall to crush my dreams! 
Asian teachers sucks!( NOT ALL OF THEM) minority of them are still great teachers.  


then when i was in my primary school my dad used to bring us to this freaking high society hotel and the people there were so polite and nice and sweet :)
I loved it there, and i got this idea from my dad "I WANT TO WORK IN A HOTEL" that was pretty much the first thing i wanna do when i grow up. 


and the years gone by, i fell in love with photography, guitars, rock bands, hippies (i still am), drama club all that stuff. 
so after my SPM (it's a stupid government examination that u have to take in Malaysia) 
Time to choose for a nice college and stuff.
I remember my parents summon me into their chamber, the lights were dimly lit, it was cold. 
LOL
OK! i know i am a drama queen. but seriously the atmosphere was really dense. 
and then my parents ask me "so, what da ya wanna be?" 
"have u think of it?" (for Christ sake i've been wanting to be a photographer since forever!) 

then i told them my wildest dreams.
I want to travel the world, take pictures, play my guitar and make money out of it, write stuff, and when i get enough money i'll move to other places and by the age of 30 i'd probably traveled the world.
just as i finished my speech my dreams was crushed by this fucking enemy of mine, called REALITY! 
i admit i am a girl with dreams and waiting for her prince charming (too much of Disney perhaps) 


OH well after months of searching and national service, my parents chose a "perfect" college for me. well i have not much choice either with my shitty results. i mean, i have lots of choice but my choices and not the ones that can "FEED" me in the future as my Asian parents believe. and my mom told me something about FENG SHUI and the elements, that banking and fiance is most suitable for me and i will  have a bright future =.=lll well thanks to FENG SHUI! i am stuck here!
and there goes my dreams :( flush away with my steams of tears crying alone in the hostel room. 


tough life huh!


FEAR NOT! the title of my blog says it all "I AM A SURVIVOR!" 3 years passed i am still standing tall, fat as ever. Healthier. and hippier  


SO as yall can see my WHOLE FREAKING life is all planed out by my parents. there's nothing like fucking "FOLLOW YOUR HEART, YOU CAN BE WHAT EVER YOU WANNA BE" shits in my life! screw Disney princesses! :( 


oh well there goes 20 years of regrets. am i lucky enough to have him? i dont know. 
but i love him. :) 

 thanks for reading. PLEASE COMMENT below and tell me about your dreams and how did yall achieve it! :) see yall sooooonnnnn!!!


-HAPPY DAY- 

My Daddy

My daddy,
 he is the strongest man I know, when i was little i remember stepping on his back giving him massage. and sometimes he would tickle me and my sister he can even lift both of them up! :)
He always bring me to the tennis court to see him play. I always enjoy riding my bike around the court and picking yellow flowers. and whenever he's away for his studies he would bring back little gifts every time he comes back home.

My dad is a really strict and discipline man, he always teaches us the best way to get things done, he wants us to keep the house neat and clean. He hates nonsense. He will always teach us to behave our-self. Despite all the spanking he sometimes really pamper us. Whenever we get good grades he will reward us :)

My dad is a really healthy man, he LOVE to exercise, when i was little he use to bring be to the beach behind my grandma's house, sometimes he will bring me jogging, hiking, biking. i mean anything that a dad will enjoy doing with his children. He always always control our food intake, we are trained to eat healthy. :)

My dad is a man who loves his 3 princesses equally. he treats us all the same. He never wants us to get hurt.

My dad is tough! it's not common for an Asian man to show love and affection everyday by giving hugs and kisses. they usually hide their feelings. You'll understand if you'r an Asian. LOL but in the end we always know that he love us.

My dad is the smartest person ever! He is really quick witted. He is really good in planning anything! especially our finances and he always plan ahead. I really wished that i got that from him. One thing about my dad, he always make the best decision. He always have the best taste is everything. Obviously, just look at my mum for instance, 50 but still hot and rocking!

My dad is very knowledgeable, he LOVE to read news papers, novels, articles and he wants us to be like him too, a wise man indeed. although none of us reads the newspaper but we sure are novel addicts :)

My dad is a wonderful teacher, his students LOVE him! respect him and idolise him! What's not to like about Mr.Ong? :) He gives the best advice and tons of motivations!

My dad is a really good cook too! sometimes he is even better than my mum :p

My dad is a family man, he love to spend time with us. and I adore that in him, I like that he always put us first.

My dad is a kind man he is always nice to people :)

As i grow older, i realised everything that he did is because he love us. Although sometimes i did things that pissed him off and he made me mad. we don't usually agree to each other.I am sorry. :( you know me. always the black sheep. honestly i hope that you are proud of me. maybe just a little. Even if i spend most of the time texting, calling other guy but i hope that you know I LOVE YOU more than any of the guy out there. You are the only man in our family, we need you forever :)
I am not a good girl, I didn't turn out the way you wanted me to i guess. But i will never stop trying to make you proud. we can't ever repay you because you've done so much for us. But i promise to be a good girl always :)
Well, here i am, far away from you, I will always think of you in any big decisions that i am making. like "what would daddy do in this situation". I really wish that i can be more like you.
I do miss you.
Thanks for doing such a great job as our Father :)
I am always proud of you Daddy. :) You are the best father ever!

Freaking fantasies

Hello world :)

am still Alive and wild!!!!
I can't write without blasting my ears with loud music. I have no idea why.
the weird thing happens when I can't get high scores without music during diamond dash :-S

tough month indeed.

sometimes when i talk to people and start telling them about my fav music, movies and books.
they look at me like I am a total freak :(

am I?
i mean come on I LOVE BUNKFACE
I totally support good Malaysian films.
I LOVE good music despite language origin and what ever shit.

I remembered this one time I had a dream of Bront Palarae. I AM CRAZY about him!
after that weird dream i got worse, it's like i am possessed I can't stop thinking about him about the dream and it lasted for a while!
caused lots of problems between me and Mr.Faiz. LOL
sorry boy.
Bront portrays a matured, successful good looking middle aged man. and young girl like me would want to date.
all the fame and fortune ( I am not sure about his income) he's a really low profile person.

I can't really dig anything from Google. damn! is he married? who is he dating? blaa3.. shits like that.
Good this is he replied my TWEETS!!!!!!!

like fucking finally!!! 

isn't he HOT!!!! <3 

Meanwhile SAM bunkface on the other hand is this rocker boy who's young and successful good looking rich which is in 2 bands!!! Smoking hot vocalist!! Tell me, is there anyone who is not sane enough to fall for both of them!!!

and BTW I've heard people telling me that my boy looks a little like SAM!! -SCREAMS-
maybe it's his aquiline nose, or those big brown eyes.. who knows LOL 
I admit, i felt that at first too, but after all this years. Nah! both of them are different.

Look at him ROCK the stage <3 

Erhhhhhh can i be skinny already! :( sick of staying in this shell. shell of fats.
I want to wear dresses and wear them well, i want to wear bikini on the beach, boys drooling over my HOT body, i want to eat like freaking Korean drama girls and still stay little as fuck.
Oh well fantasies is all i have right now.

RIGHT NOW, future Yoke will be reading this blog and proud that she shed her fat shell :)
Good Job Yoke! if you are reading this in the future, this is the fat you writing.
still stuck at home after class, total ZERO social activities besides facebook and texting.

Future Yoke will be dancing all night long, coming home drunk as fuck and living life like she suppose to!
:)


14 JUNE 2012 JIWA TAIKO!!! both of them are in it SAM and BRONT!! :)
i seriously can't wait to watch! PLEASE don't disappoint me. but i know you wouldn't LOL!!!
i am such a crazy ass bitch!

I am praying for motivations to continue my hectic college life.
you can pray for me if you want to :)

Thanks for reading.

freaking sister

I AM BACK IN KUALA LUMPUR.
tired as fuck :(




My sis is with me here. limited internet usage time. :(
not much to update though.
but the same semesters resolution :-S


I PRAY THAT I PASS MY LAST SEMESTERS EXAM!
please!


more updates soon :) 

Interracial long distance

Morning and HELLO :)
hey guys. did yall miss me? I am into writing mood now.


so i finished my final exam then went back to Kuala Terengganu 
had fun for the first week then got sick = =lll i am getting better now though.
it's the change of weather i guess. LOL never thought that i'm weak. i mean i grew up there and now i am not used to the chilly ocean breeze. WEIRD! 

The famous interracial marriage Marion Caunter and SM Nasarudin 

for those who've read my blog post the past years know that mah boy here is not Chinese.
and we are not the near to each other. what i am trying to say is we are in a long distance relationship which makes it even harder. :(  




My parents and family (so typical) obviously strongly oppose with the thing we have for each other since the begging of time. They used to have these talks with me that sate all the disadvantages of getting myself involve with him. they think that he is the wrong idea. 
of course for all the Chinese out there. Their first fear is converting to other religion. I don't know why and what's there to be afraid of. call me naive but i don't see anything that will hurt anyone. I mean a family will always be a family no matter what happens. 
They are afraid of losing me that i will cut ties with them. this is funny and ridiculous! but i wish that they know how much i love them and anything they say will have a huge effect on me. which makes it even even even harder. I'll be happier if i didn't care about anything they say. 
even my boy friend knows that every time i have these talks with my parents we will end up crying over the phone.
how can i tell them it's not as bad as they think it is. :(
maybe is the up bringing maybe is the culture maybe it's the government. I don't know. why do people have this skeptical and negative thoughts about interracial relationships?


besides my family the distance between us is also an issue!
i can't stand the fact that we can't be with each other whenever we need each other the most.
i guess my sister is correct. we need a whole lot of imagination to maintain this relationship.
Like him hugging me to sleep. holding my hand to class. pat my head when i did something good. 
things like that.
sometimes we have this stupid fights which is so dumb! i mean why do we have to fight?
my parents will be super happy to see up split and the distance is killing us why do we need to make it even worse? 
ironic right? 


honestly he is the sweetest guy you've ever met plus he is drop dead gorges ^___^
tall tanned and handsome. what more can i ask for?
Oh God there's just so much good in him that i want to share. but i am afraid that yall will be bored to death by then. LOL 
and imagine the cute babies that we would have if i were to be his wife! LOL 

there you have us :)

i really hope that one day one fine they. they will see the good in him and accept us. :)

Sepet the movie

WOW i really love writing about him huh! one lucky fellow to be in my blog all the time! LOL
Hey for those who are in a relationship or interracial relationship or had been in any kind of relationships do post some comment and tell your stories and how you deal with them! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!
:)




thanks for reading again :) have a good Tuesday 
over and out! ;)

Boys all around me!!

Hey you guys :)


I just got really HORNY today (ya i know girls you've had those days) ;)
Weeeeeeeeeeee~~


Ok i know i shouldn't be doing this since, you know i got my finals coming up this SATURDAY! but i love this blog so much i couldn't leave it alone :p


We are going to talk about BOYS today! Are you excited or what??! LOL


I've had crush and crushes on tons of boy before i was in a relationship with him. like seriously i literally "fall in love" with ALL THE GUYS, i know SLUTTY.
but i sure have a certain type.


Just so you know I have no interest in Chinese guys :-S i am not being a traitor here! I just don't like em! I like something different from what i am and sometimes Chinese guys really pisses me off! Seriously! 
that's why i am in a relationship with a Malay. Hey! please be clear that i do not have preference over Malays too it's just a coincidence that my boy is a Malay. It could have been an American boy, a British boy ya know the blond hair and the ocean blue eyes (melting) 


so i was crazy over METAL ROCKER EMOISH type of guys when i was like 16,17. like seriously i LOVE drummers, guitarist especially their HAIR! I mean hair is the most important part of the face! Imagine me being bold! when you get a bad hair cut it just ruin EVERYTHING literally! 

Ohhh Boy! Look at THEM! (THE HAIR)

So much for rocker guys. I kinda like guy with clean cut hair, with ABS! ABS ABS ABS! I don't really fancy skinny Asian guy seriously! i mean they can't even protect themselves :-S Guy like this walking on the street will really catch my eyes :) <3 LOVE 

They are just PURE BEAUTY! 

Looking good in ANYTHING they put on! (although i prefer you to be topless) LOL! Honestly he will be soooooooooo Jelly when he read this! ^______^ but he know my choice of guy. PIKACHU I CHOSE YOU! 

eating SUSHI like a BOSS!

But ladies! LOOKS are not what that matters the most! it's their awesome personality that i fall into! Who wants a guy whose face's like an angle but having shitty attitudes?! NO! 

Find a guy who treats you right! Love you for WHO YOU REALLY ARE! not that ass of yours. not your big ass tits! we all want a guy who's committed loyal and someone you can trust and rely on! not some guy who wants to fuck you. like a drunken pikachu! 

NO! 

So, i hope you like my topic of the day! :)

Please PLEASE PLEASE leave comments down beloooowwww, tell me what type of guys makes you wanna scream! :) i really want to know. 

WILL CONCENTRATE on my studies now! WISH ME LUCK GUYS! :)

see you SOON! 

thanks for reading :) -kiss kiss hug hug- 

Little sweetness in this bitterness

Hey :) 
hows everyone.


He came and went back :(
Ok I was thrilled when he surprised me when he magically appear at my door step :)


To all my new readers I just wanna give yall a brief introduction to my life.
HELLO WORLD. I am Yoke. 21 this year, I started blogging few years ago. It's mainly about my classmates and school life. 
After i finished my secondary education I started to write about how miserable my college life is, staying with a bitchy roommate plus a little of my crush (which currently is MINE) LOL a little about national service and shit like that.
I am a very emotional person. Yes i admit. I write when i am happy i write when i am depressed. I am also lazy as fuck. I mean seriously i wonder where did i get my laziness from? is it my dad or my mum? O.o


Ok carry on. I used to write my blog in a way that only me myself and i understand them. but. NOT ANYMORE fellow friends. I am going to expose everything about me here. Well, when i say EVERYTHING i don't mean EVERYTHING. ya know a lady needs her privacy ok! 

                                   THAT'S MAH BOY :)
and yeah. My boy. I am in a relationship with a Malay boy. I hope yall can imagine all the drama that's happening between us and my family :-S it's like a never ending war. damn! it'll be the end of the world if i start telling my family dramas. Oh well, I am hopelessly in love with him (we meet during national service). :( what can i say fate is a really confusing creature. I was LOVE at first sight and i am not exaggerating when i say FIRST SIGHT. It was like my heat skipped a beat when i saw him :)


flash forward to 23 of March 2012 we are together for 2 years and a month :) since we are studying at different place he would come visit almost every month. He usually arrive late at night. like 11pm late. :-S i know it's not that late but hey! i've been waiting since forever! But that day really was a surprise. He texted me about sending his soul to me (ya i know.. weird) and i was like "you'll be reaching late anyways." 
when the clock strikes 5.45pm he texted me again, this time he said his soul is at my front door and asked me to open the door. and BANG!!! HE WAS THERE! STANDING OUTSIDE LIKE A PRINCE CHARMING. <3 


it was fun being with him and all but UNFORTUNATELY. EXAM is near clock is ticking. my first paper is on his birthday! (31 March) SAD :(


But, a smart girl always plan ahead. I celebrated his 21st birthday with the cutest Oreo chocolate cake (that spoil my diet =o=''') but his smile and hugs and kisses and happiness is all that counts. screw diet plan for a day. 


Today i am back on track again :) shed some weight at the gym and writing while waiting for my sweat to dry off. 


Damn this post is long. i can get REALLY REALLY excited when i talk about him <3 :) (BLUSH) 


so, that's all folks. hope you enjoy reading mah post for today. :)


Good Day -bows- 

2012 i feel like starting again

Hello :)
it's a long time since i got a mental break down.  since you all say that the world is gonna end in 2012
i thought why not continue to do what i love. 


am i a boring person? seriously. how can i improve my blog if no body comment on it. 
sometime it's really frustrating and sad! 


damn, i miss writing but i am really getting rusty and all. last post was like. last year. O.O
i love this blog.


all the post all the updates here are from my heart. and i am not going to delete any of them.  


so much is going on right now i just don't know where to start. all i could say is. i am NOT happy. 
:(
cuz i am stupid and ungrateful. 


boy friend drama family issues exam fever 
Gosh. can i die now.


just so you know, i am trying to lose some pounds here. by some i mean A LOT! 
ain't wanna be big mama forever! 


well, that's all. thanks for reading and stopping by. i would really appreciate a comment down there :)


have a nice day.