Monday 27 June 2016

I miss my grandma

I miss my gradmother i really do.
I dont know why i felt like i am so closed to her the fact that i only spent 7 years of my life with her.
I miss her so much, i dont know why whenever i am in trouble or felt like talking to someone i would only always think of her.
I miss my grandmother, her gentle touch and her warm hugs.
I miss my grandmother how she would always react when i did something naughty the way she said "anak bertuah" i havent heard it in ages.
I miss my grandmother, i cant remeber the exact date she passed away but what i knew was i could have been a better granddaughter. I remembered the day my parents brought me to the hospital she was on her bed.
I knew she wanted to talk to me i can see it in her eyes.
But the deaseas was taking over her body. I wish i was a better grand daughter.
And now it's too late.
I miss my grandmother and the fact that i only knew her for 7 years of my life it's like knowing her since forever.

People would always tell me to get over it or appreciate the living rather than crying for the dead, but they dont understand. I miss my grandmother.
It is so strange when i feel like she is the only one that will not judge me and know me for who i really am.
Taken me so long just to pour it out, i've been thiking of her since yesterday.

People can think what they want. But i was a kid i did not understand.
I was a kid that was spolid by my grandmother. I cant imagine if she's still alive. How life could be still a fuckiny fat soul i can see.

I remember
She would always put 1 ringgit coins and tied them to my shirt before i go back to the city with my parents.
My dad hated it when she gave me money.
I really miss how she would comb my hair and tie them up in pony tails.
Our walks to the beach and playing with fish doughs in the kerepok factory and washing my hands with her Olay fash wash to get rid of the fish smell.



With her. I always know i was the special one even it was only for 7 years.



You know what fuck my spelling fuck my grammer. This is about my grandmother not some fucking poetry.