Perasaan ku

perasaan ku??
yeah yeahh i know i am a girl with lots of feelings~
hehehehe


in Terengganu.. my home town.. the place where i were brought up.. i am sorry that i had to leaf to another state that is familiar yet so new to me..
the people here are totally different. different in the sense that their thoughts and life style and attitudes..

i remembered well.. in my mind.. Chinese Malay and Indian lived together as one in my small town.. but i though that they would be closer in the big city~
but i soon found out that i was so wrong...
i cant believe that what i am seeing .. hearing or even experiencing here..

i just dont understand y?
i always thought that we are ONE.. i mean.. where is perpaduan kaum?? where is budi bahasa??
where is all the nilai nilai murni???!!!!

OMG! i know that i am not a budi bahasa tyoe or person but.. this is far worse that i had imagine~

how can this happen??
when are we going to achieve 2020??
i am so so sooooo worried that 13may might happen again~
i am really afraid..the kind of fear that i cant explain..
the fear of loosing my love ones and my friends of different race and religion...

i cant bare it anymore~
everything seems to be ok~
the truth is far worse...

more illustration on next blog.. bila inspirasi ku datang! :D

11 JULY

what's so special about THE DAY??
i dont know..

it's just somebody's birthday~
lol

actually... it's not just somebody~
it's HIM!
that guy~
that seems so familiar yet so unfamiliar to me..
a phase of growing..
a little crush~

a cute guy that i had knock myself onto so hard till i was hurt all over~
i promise myself i will always remember him~
but i guess i am not significant~ just a tiny dust in his eyes~

i love his smile and still do..although i cant look at him carefully anymore
but his features are all hand craft in my head~
it's difficult for to even forget his birthday~

i am just a nonsense just a lunatic to him~
but dose he know that he means so much to me...
i just dont know why~~

it's a week after his birthday~

happy birthday~ the guy beside the window~

RM3

can u buy a heart with RM3??

hmm i really dont know what to say bout this..

am i a hypocryte?

am i money minded..

argghhh!! i can believe he bought my heart by using 1 and almost 2 years of time and rm3.. lol

but i am still cnfused.. he bought my heart by phone calls.. and almost 2 months.. hahahahah

man i am crazy~

WORDS

are the words the truth?
the beautiful words..
so sweet and suiting flowing into my ear.
why cant you just tell me?
or it's my fault that i m blinded...

i am really happy that u said u wish that i were at your house.. and we can talk face to face
i am really happy that u called me
i am really happy that u dont mind
i am really happy that u r what u r now...
or would u change?

i am also happy that i am far away from u cuz i know u missed me :)
i dont know am i the one... but sometimes i hope that i am the only one
i wonder what u talked about with her..
i wonder do u still like her?
i hope that u realised.
i hope that u call me everyday
i hope that the phone bill is free and we would talk day n night

i love the way u talk to me
i love your laughter although i can just hear them

i wish to see u but not your picture
i hate to quarrel with u
i dont wanna make u mad
and i hope u wont ever break my heart again.

i hope i can be loyal and like u with all my heart but no
i realised and awaken when u last hurt me..
and i cant really go back to who i was cuz i find the fun and pleasure being who i am

cuz i am in love with both of u...
i hate telling u lies that u dont even realised.
i am truly sorry..
for me this is just... a game.. a game that i had lost badly but rebuilding it with new strategies.
i hope that u forgive me.
i hope to get both of u.
as if i can~


am i crazy for wrintng these?
i dont know.. it's just what i feel...

H1N1

what the hell man~
what's with the h1n1??

sick of it!
sick of wearing mask
it's damn hot! and a person like me.. sweat like hell wearing it.. huhuu
but prevention is better than cure... right???

but some of the people here..
i mean thoes jerks!
laughing and teasing people that r wearing mask.
what r u trying to prove?
u r not afraid? u r stupid? u r childish? go eat my shoe!!!
damn i hate them...
lol

college life's so far so good.. i dont really have any BIG trouble yet..
but i really do worry bout the flu though~
trying my best to prevent it~ :)

terengganu it still the best! :D
i miss my family so much! huhu
and my friends
y must we be appart??
i really do miss u..
when can we meet again???

although u would call me once in a while.. but there's no 3G here.. lol
i enjoy talking face to face with you~
i really regreted not taking picture with u at the bus stand
and really thank you 4 being there with me...
i think i am falling.. slowly.. into..... lol

wokay3.. enough~
that's privet hahahahaha

call me more ok! some times i do get bored here u know... and stress out..
i suddenly miss ur support and your smile..
i miss the way u give 2 thumbs up when ever i finish a presentation..
i miss it when u look at me
i miss it when we would joke and talk during klas kenegaraan and all
i miss you!

huhuuu i miss gossiping with u in I-3
i miss the laughter
i miss the cat walk and the silly jokes..
i miss getting roll call and getting punish
i miss running with u all and eating together..

I MISS MISS MISS!!! i am going crazy!! help anyone??