A date with spring

i prefer nothing than something more but will hurt me in the end.

i prefer friends that really know me well inside out than a bunch of friends that only know how i look.

if physical is really that important for my future.

i really would do my best to improve it.

it's only for me. and no one else.

fingers dancing on the keyboard.

i love the sound old type writes more.

i love it when four of us hangout and talk about anything everything and nothing but rubbish.

and sometimes we do pour out a lot to each other.

the days spent together. the way you all accept me as i am.

all of these means a lot to me.

but, maybe the hurt is too deep.

sometimes. i really don't know what to think or what to trust.

it's my own doings that cause this.

what should i do.

the gap and distance is too far.

it had been lapse by time.

only songs that can remind me of the vivid memories.

after my primary.

i tried so hard just to erase everything.

to avoid everyone.

to be invisible to them.

don't you know, it hurts more than anything just to see people we used to be "close" with

ignore you. as if they never meet you before.

the millions of questions that pops up in my mind in the flash second.

i really don't know where to get the answer.

some times i don't get it when.

others criticizes questions that people ask and solutions that people seek.

i wonder why are they hurting others just to boost their self esteem.

why people ignore others after they have the other half.

The world is contaminated. doomed. crooked. crowded. dammed. polluted. hopeless. helpless.

bits and bits of good in the world is gone day by day.

aren't you aware of that?

why aren't you sad?

why isn't anyone doing anything to stop this?

if by writing. i can stop everything. i would write.

but i guess.

my writing is nothing but crap.

people just don't know me.

i am no super woman or wonder girl.

i ain't super model or pretty face.

i am just me.

i guess that's all for tonight.

read it or leave it. it's up to you.

Thanks :)

I love you.

i want to love you till the end

but dear,

you don't get it neither do they.

the difference between us.

are unchangeable.

they are trying so hard to tear us apart.

and we will eventually give in.

my mum would say this is rubbish and not mature.

maybe she's right.

what are we fighting for?

forever and always.

i know you want to. :)

you are a good guy.

yes you are.

and i am a lucky girl.

no. i am to selfish to let you go just yet.

not now.

-if it can be changed, it will say i do. there will always be a but-