It has come to a point where my mother wants to meet him.
we don't know what is the outcome.
I can't even predict. So i will think the worst of it.
What would happen if we broke up.
1. I will probably be depressed as fuck. 0 self esteem.
2. Lost all my appetite.
3. I would probably hate everyone around me. Blaming everyone for the breakup. Other people in my life would probably be happy. This is what they want, and this is the sacrifice they want.
4. I wont smile anymore.
5. I will spend most of my time hiding in my room.
6. I will probably cry my eyes out.
7. I will just waste life away.
8. I will probably cling onto the things that he given me.
9. Probably need to force myself to delete all our pictures and videos of him.
10. I will talk way lesser.
11. Probably will think of committing suicide but will change my mind because it is a stupid idea. (or maybe i will do it. Who knows?)
12. I will be crying to every single song we sang together.
13. Lots and lots of crying
14. Life will be empty.
15. My phone will be so quiet.
16. I will probably write more blog post.
17. Maybe get myself a cat.
18. Still hating everyone tho.
19. probably dying from starvation and starting to eat more than usual.
20. I will probably be like a zombie.
21. Driving in my car is a torture.
22. Waking up every morning thinking to give him the usual morning call but i probably shouldn't.
23. hating myself for myself.
24. I will probably be single with 10 cats.
25. I will start talking to myself.
26. Sleepless nights and horrible nightmares.
27. life is a living hell
28. I will run away. Yes, just run away.
29. Run away to a place so far where nobody can reach me and control my feelings.
30. or i will just stay and function like a robot, so that everyone is happy for my sacrifice.
31. Maybe i will just waste life away. or quit my job or move away.
32. I think breathing will also be difficult for me.
33. you will slowly see the light in me fade away.
34. It has come to point where there's no use hating people, and people getting sick of me being depressed.
35. I probably should go seek help.
36. or i will give up my basic human rights and just let them arrange everything.
37. everything will probably be black and dull.
38. still hating people. and maybe don't believe in love anymore.
39. Start to have doubt in everything.
40. clueless.
I can't think of anything positive to write. not a single one.
What is so wrong about being in love with the person i love?
What is so wrong about being in love with a Malay guy?
Money is important, why don't you trust us that we can build our future together?
If religion is something good why would it affect my relationship with my family?
If there's a God somewhere, and God is Love. why are we suffering from this?
Suffering just because we fell in love.
Everyone is telling me what to do and how to feel.
How can you tell a person how to feel?
The way they say it is so easy as tho i have no feeling of hurt.
The way they say it is as tho i never loved him and our love is cheap.
The way they say go chase your dreams. Is as tho he is not part of my dream.
They way they don't make him your source of happiness as tho they have never been in love.
Talk is cheap. You are not me. You will never know how i feel. how i see things.
Yes, i love getting advice and love from other people.
at the end of the day, do you really know how i feel?
How can you tell a person how to feel?
The way they say it is so easy as tho i have no feeling of hurt.
The way they say it is as tho i never loved him and our love is cheap.
The way they say go chase your dreams. Is as tho he is not part of my dream.
They way they don't make him your source of happiness as tho they have never been in love.
Talk is cheap. You are not me. You will never know how i feel. how i see things.
Yes, i love getting advice and love from other people.
at the end of the day, do you really know how i feel?
You may say I am stupid I am dumb a dreamer unrealistic. If love is a joke. Why do we even love? Why am i feeling things? or am i delusional? Why it hurts so bad. so bad to let him go? As if it is sucking every single piece of life out of me.
I am not a demanding person. I just wan't to be with the guy i adore and love.
What is so wrong when i know he loves me back too.
If you say i am stupid to make him part of my life, you probably haven't been in love before.
If you say that I have my family and I should sacrifice for them, then why do we have feelings?
Why do we need to find life partners and fall in love?
If you say that i am desperate and useless and I can't live without a man, why God created Man and Woman?
-Who gives who the right to say he is not the right one for me?-
1 comment:
Most important you both love each other too :)
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