I forgive you Jay

I forgive you even you blocked me out from your life.
I forgive you even you did not ask for it.
I forgive you even you dumped me via WhatsApp.
I forgive you.

I forgive you when you can be so happily in love with another girl knowing that I am still out here hurting.
I forgive you even you are a heartless monster.
I forgive you even memories of us will haunt me for a very long time.
I forgive you.

I forgive you even I was just an experiment for you.
I forgive you even you never really loved me before.
I forgive you even every single memory of us hurts me till this day.
I forgive you.

I forgive you even you never had the balls to talk to me and clear things up
I forgive you even you make it your sister's responsibility to give everything back to me.
I forgive you even you left me without a single regret.
I forgive you.

I forgive you for all my tears, and me crying myself to sleep every night.
I forgive you for destroying the future that we could have.
I forgive you for not feeling a thing about what ever happened to me, as if I am nothing to you.
I forgive you

I forgive you for crushing my heart and soul.
I forgive you for all the broken promises. Sembang, name pun sembang, sembang kosong.
I forgive you for all the sleepless nights and all my anxiety attacks because of what you did.
I forgive you.

I forgive you, not to make you feel better. I am doing this for myself.
I am tired of hating you, hating her. Hating both of you.
nothing is going to change.
This world is just so unfair.
I accept that this is what I deserve.
I just want to be free and happy.

I forgive myself too for making the biggest mistake of my life.
I should have left when I saw her WhatsApp on your phone.
1 January 2017.

Maybe your dad really fucked you up.
People like you, deserve happiness too.
Maybe she has something that I don't have.
Well, congratulations. I hope she is your happiness.

What you did was so wrong. You could have done it in a different way.
Maybe next time, try to think about how other people feel, rather than yourself.
Grow up Jay.

Anyways, Thank you for the life lesson.
Thank you for showing me the meaning of "true love", "sayang", "no matter how far we go, we will still come back to each other", "you are the one for me", "I will fight for our future".
Thank you for all your bull shit.
Thank you for showing me how ugly your new babes, sayang, baby, awek, girlfriend is.
Lawak la Jay. You are so funny.

honestly I miss everything about us but, not even God can change your heart.
I wonder do you even have a heart.
I wonder if you miss Daisy and all the kittens.
Oh, you nyanyok. No wonder.


-Muhammad Nazir Awang Alias. I forgive you, not for you but for myself.-