freaked out

I totally lost it.

i can't believe i actually freaked out.

i called him thousands of times. i couldn't get to him.

i was going mad.

we were on the phone half an hour ago. and now i can't even get through him.

unfortunately his 2nd girl friend fell into the red pail full of water.

:(

i need to be with him right now!

i am worried sick!

he's far away and alone.

Shit! i am talking as if he's my son.

Oh God.

help us.

all i can do now is Pray. really. really hard.

people are asking about us.

about his race and religion.

about our relationship.

my family is ashamed, people are criticizing.

they are mean to us. not even listening and look with their heart.

they don't know what we have between us.

maybe for you it's rubbish and nonsense.

my sisters hated him.

they thought that i love him more than them.

it's not like that.

i love my family and he is like my family.

so i love them both a lot.

"when can they accept me?" he asked.

please tell me the answer. anyone.

it hurts so much to see him leaving, alone, with his head down.

people out there are like giants, constantly trying to step on us.

they want us to die. to end this relationship

because to them, only their relationships are real.

only same race and religion is acceptable.

they do not see the good in him.

as if he is worthless.

he once said to me

"am i some kind of crook or criminal that my name is prohibited to be mention in front of your family?"

what did he do to deserve this?

is it because he's born to be a Malay?

he's a Malay guy and i am a Chinese girl.

we are in love.

and that creates war.

what did i do wrong?

what do you all want from me?

"they wants us to end our relationship, they don't want us to see each other anymore. but i can't do it. i just can't."

honestly. i can't do it too.

i rather get knock hard on my head and lost all my memories.

i can't contact him.

:(

i am sad. depressed and fat.

he is lost, sad, poor and alone.

help us.

anyone.

God. please be with him.

he needs you now.

middle fingers up for having long distance relationship and a phone socked in water.

-dear phone. please get well soon. we love you. we need you.-