i am blessed to have my love ones surrounding me. really glad that most of my friends came.
I didn't get the chance to take pictures with them. i wonder what was i rushing for? i guess i am the one that would abandon a whole forest just for a three. although i hated people doing that. but i guess i am the one who is blind and stupid.
i was Ok at first. but, deep down i regretted.
i got 3 bouquet of SUNFLOWERS :) LOVE them very much! never thought that we made it.
the convocation was fast. i had to wait under the canopy like a roasting pig in hell. luckily i did not put on any make up.
sick of having guest in the house and all they do is face the computer. you might as well do it at your house!
it's really confusing.
this bittersweet.
my mum and dad are proud of me at least :)
we took pictures, and they will be up SOON. i can't promise when, but i will try my best to put them up.
there's nothing much really. i just missed my friends.
mum still hates him like everyone else.
-i guess i am a long distance relationship kind of girl after all-
why am i always staring my blog with an apology saying that i am not writing for a very long time? LOL this is funny.
well. it has indeed been a long time since i last updated my blog.
and as you guys know i have no idea at all for what had happened. all i could say is. i was really busy with assignments. Advance Diploma is really different. Although i am still as lazy as usual, but i do try to study and catch up.
it's sad to see the morels of human being evolve into a stage that is unimaginable. what happened to the good old moral values?
long gone with the winds i guess.
Someone once asked me "what trouble you students the most now a days?" the first answer wasMONEY!
Oh my Goodness! you can't imagine how important money is to us students! man let me tell you.
RM2 - bus to and fro college average RM4 (sometimes it could be more) - lunch minimum RM5 - dinner
minus tea minus snacks minus all the fees this is my average spending for a day. i wasn't asking for more. i was shock to see that they only gave me that much. i know it isn't easy to earn money. especially raising 3 kids and an old woman. i am desperate here. i told them about working part time. but " HELL NO!" was their answer. what can i say?
today sucks. what a shitty day. packs of dogs running around everywhere i went. it's a disgrace. she did it without thinking. ignoring everything. Love is great. feelings are strong. Ok. stop this.
I almost forgot to tell you guys that my Diploma Graduation is on the 26th of November 2011. :) which is next two weeks. Do drop by. take a picture or two. Holga and Sam is ready to shoot. :)
We both wanted so much to be there. but. my parents. they don't think that this is a good idea. but i don't understand. it's my graduation. i have the rights to invite anyone i like!
we are depressed. actually i am. God. i don't know what to do anymore. Please help me. the way we missed each other. my parents wouldn't see it. we are nonsense to them. the way we want to meet each other so much. the way i cuddle with his shirt at night when i sleep.
i should be doing my assignments rather than writing. well i need a break once in a while. Ok. i promise i will try to write at least ONCE a week. hope to increase the traffic here.
anyone out there reading my posts. i THANK YOU and i LOVE YOU! don't be shy and give me some feed back. i really do need them.
I found out that the frequency of me writing is getting lesser and lesser year by year. Why is it happening? i can't answer it myself. Lazy? or simply just lack of inspirations.
wanting to shine too much makes you feel more dull. so i might as well stay as i am.
i once heard lady gaga said that we should worship ourselves. Love who we are, because that's all we've got.
This is true. no matter who you are. How you look like, you are special. Really special. because God made you like this. Unique. We all are His baby.
feelings that i couldn't express. I want salvation. save me from reality. Lets run and get married at some exotic island under the most romantic moon light. Just me and you. Ignoring the world.
living in a world with so many faces. I am impressed that i can survive. but with him no mask or camouflage is needed. I can be myself and knowing that he's loving every minutes of it.
Praying to god to make it through everyday has became a routine for me. Teaching myself how to put a smile on my face not a soul knowing how desperately i needed you by my side.
He's a great guy to take the responsibility, I am happy for her. I really am. :) I wish them happiness and prosperity. pray that they are all healthy.
How do you measure wealth? I think most of us measure it based on the figures in our bank account. from now on, i am trying to measure wealth by how happy i am. the happier i am the wealthier it is.
i mean, what's the purpose of living if we are all constantly counting our money instead of our blessings.
It is amazing that i actually felt relived writing it all out. Glad that writing still have this effect on me.
We shouldn't take life too seriously but there are times that we should act mature. or else people will hate you or worse you are just their laughing stock. Just like how i see you now.
please don't make a fool of yourself just to shine.
Shine with dignity.
he said that he hope i sees the truth one day. i really do pray for it.
Hey guys it's been a while since i updated my blog. I was kinda busy with college re opening and all. trying to adapt i guess.
it may not be a new learning environment but i am staying outside now so i have to take the bus to college EVERYDAY just like any other college students :)
this is actually exciting for me. I can't really explain but, i actually do not have MONDAY blue. LOL but i think i will probably get bored of all this in a few months time.
Ok. The title of my blog clearly states what i want to talk about today. I watched a movie yesterday it's called the sorcerer and the white snake I know i know the title is a bit lame. but i think the story line is amazing. i will cut the story short LOL
this is actually a Chinese classic. a legend a myth maybe. It is about a white snake who can transform itself into human form, she fell in love with a poor fellow, which have great personality. I was not only amazed by the fighting and special effects but also the love they had for each other.
So there was this monk, his job is to fight evil spirits and keep them in this pagoda on an island. he found out that the snake married this poor fellow. Which is forbidden for humans to fall in love with Ghosts and magical creatures.
the monk kept trying to pull both of them apart, at first the poor fellow did not know that his wife is actually a white snake. obviously she transformed herself into a beautiful maiden LOL.
but even after the poor fellow knew about the true identity of his wife, he risked his life to safe his wife and all the promises and vows. the white snake risked her life too, to safe her husband.
I cried hard during the movie. their love for each other is so pure. they want nothing in return but to be able to love each other and to live together forever and ever. they sacrifice for each other just because of love. they are willing to give their life. Just to love.
i don't see such love any more now days. especially among young people. call me nood call me dumb. i don't care. their love is amazing.
but the saddest thing is they can't be together. i remembered the snake said " why is the love between a ghost and a human not counted as love?" she said " i truly love him" and you can see that through her eyes.
no matter how hard they love. how hard they try to be together. in the end.
they didn't make it. the snake's trap under the pagoda probably for a thousand years.
that's the end of it. a sad love story. one of the reason i cried hard is because i thought of me and him.
all we want is to love. but, this world isn't this simple. it's sad but it's the fact.
but above all i am grateful that i am able to love and be loved :)
this little girl is really talented. Check her out :)
This is the first very step for me to complete my dream. My UK dream. :)
I passed all my papers! thank GOD Almighty! the best grades throughout my diploma year. LOL
I can't believe it myself either. and this made me SCREAM at the top of my lung this morning. I will not grumble anymore after this as promised :)
I will work my ass up! UK wait for me.
i felt relived. as if the clouds are all gone and the sun shines so brightly. as if i can do anything in the world. I felt confident again. well, the cancer cell is now officially cut off. and you all know this thing about cancer, it might come again. Therefore, i will try my best not to get infected again. Focus on my studies and quit being a quitter. Quit grumbling and blaming everyone.
I made my parents proud :) for the first time i felt their happiness. My sisters too are amazed by this miraculous out come. he said"my girl." and he felt proud saying that.
It all paid off. nights and nights without sleeping and all the excess weight i put on. well, i am gonna take care of the weight problem SOON. i think.
Oh, another good news for you guys. I finally MOVED OUT from that stupid ass hostel! I am a free bird! everything seems fine. so far so good. I LOVE my new apartment. it's spacious and comfortable. Although it's like a hunted house before my friends and i cleaned it up but, 3 days of intensive cleaning this is is finally fit for us to call HOME.
the swimming pool is just at the back of my huge balcony. isn't it fantastic? and the Gym too. time to shed this excess weight of mine SOON. LOL
I thank GOD for all this. All the credits goes to THE Creator. because he listens to prayers. I've been praying real hard. and he answers it. :)
i need consolidation for my soul. only by writing, i feel better. i don't know is it because of my period or because there's really something wrong with our relationship.
well as you all know I've been fighting for everyone to accept my relationship with him. i always thought that our relationship's different. i thought that we will never have the so called "4 phase" of a relationship. i was too naive i guess. i thought it will be smooth sailing. Of course there are a few rough waves during the journey, but i never though that the ship needed a break.
eventually. one of the captain command the crew to raise the sail. not dropping the anchor yet though.
we were having this conversation like every other nights. it was fine at first. but it came to a point that he said" well, that's all i guess. i have nothing to talk about anymore. (indicating that we should hang up)"
and i was like"that's it? seriously? you don't want to talk anymore? or are you busy?"
cut the story short. i was offended when he said he have nothing to do, but he have nothing to say, he thinks that we should hang up first. talk again before going to sleep. Am i being hyper sensitive over small things? is it because of my menstrual? I have NO idea. Gosh i sounded like a FUCKING Teenager going through PUBERTY! FUCK!
i am RESTLESS!
i can't stay still! i don't get it! am i being too pushy? or what ever you call "physco girl friend?"
i know it's been a long time since i last update my
blog.
i've been busy and lazy. despite that i've been traveling :)
not to some exotic places of course.
I went to Malacca it's a small town full of historical traces.
if you study your history well and i bet you know the
story about Praramesuara the little deer and the tree. After that then came the
Portuguese, they were the first to invade Malacca and rule it for more than 100 years. Then came the British and the Japanese and bla3..
I had quite a wonderful time in Malacca. The weather, the people and most importantly the FOOD! the culture and not to forget the architecture there :)
I am literally in LOVE with the Baba Nyonya house.
currently listed as my dream house.
good thing about small town, less traffic and less pollution.
Fruits dipped in rich chocolate
Irresistible DURIAN PUFF!
Next stop Port Klang.
Porky! LOL!
it's famous for it's pork cooked with herbs and tea in a clay pot.
certainly a delicacy.
port Klang is also a small town.
living in a peaceful neighborhood
wooden house. cement floor zinc roof, bathing with a pail scooping up cold water.
people there basically know each other! they are nice and friendly.
not to forget the FOOD there, besides porky the sea food there is also mouth watering.
majority population in these two town are Chinese so, i basically enjoy being a Chinese and eating real Chinese food! :)
hope to go to Penang some day.
I've been eating and going around spending and putting on weight! :-l that's not a good thing.
train heading back to reality
I remembered getting down from the train. feeling the heavy weight on my shoulders again.
why do we have to live with burdens and responsibilities?
I hate to be bothered, this isn't anti social i just need my own space.
I am trying hard to control my temper and my tongue.
and tell me, who love to be told what to do?! I am tired of this. when can this stop? am i going to live this life for another 50 years?
Sick of being surrounded my insecurities. Please just find something and grab hold of it. Not me. I may be Fat but i am not a buoyant. or a log.
I am struggling too. swimming against the current. I mean, who isn't?!
Life's hard. grow up kiddo! you did this to yourself and quit asking people why!
this is insane.
I am not being mean. it's the fact.
you can comment and act as if everything you say is correct but the fact is still the fact.
guess i need to stop acting this way and try to accept people the way they are.
Lord i need you so much!
I really do hope you listen and answer my prayers.
i begin to doubt my sanity without you with me again.
when will be the next bonding?
i guess it will always be an unknown.
I can feel the magic floating in the air Being with you gets me that way I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've Never been this swept away
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms The whole world just fades away The only thing I hear Is the beating of your heart
'Cause I can feel you breathe It's washing over me Suddenly I'm melting into you There's nothing left to prove Baby all we need is just to be Caught up in the touch The slow and steady rush Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be I can feel you breathe Just breathe
In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down I'm closer than I've ever felt before And I know And you know There's no need for words right now
'Cause I can feel you breathe It's washing over me Suddenly I'm melting into you There's nothing left to prove Baby all we need is just to be Caught up in the touch The slow and steady rush Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be I can feel you breathe Just breathe
Caught up in the touch The slow and steady rush Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be I can feel you breathe Just breathe
I can feel the magic floating in the air Being with you gets me that way
