Disaster Day 1

Day 1 of the collapse of my support system.

the same day my car got stolen.

The break up was bad and dramatic.
It was so sudden. so fast too emotional.

I was numbed. I couldn't spend the night sleeping alone. I had to sleep with my sisters.
I seek shelter. I was shivering.
He thought that giving back all the things i gave him means erasing all our memories. but he was so wrong.

I couldn't eat. I feel nauseous, I can't stop crying.
The sun has fallen. My world crumble. half of my soul gone.
Deleting pictures and videos of you in my phone means nothing.
I still miss you the same.

The fear of starting my laptop. fearing that i would accidentally click on one of our vids.

I tried begging wanting him back.
I guess. His heart just can't take me back anymore.
I can't stop crying.

Everything around me is you.
All of me.
The music, the food the place. you scent.
I miss his hugs. his jokes his voice. I miss him so much no words can describe how sorry I am.

I just wanted him to give me one more chance to make it right again. Just this one last time.
I told him I have learnt my lesson.
He wouldn't listen.
He acting so cruel makes me think that, did he ever love me?
was it as much as i did?
I said to not give up. He pushed me away. pushed away everything that we built.

If we ever got back together again. i promise to make this relationship stronger.
I promise not to repeat the same mistakes.

I am lucky enough to have friends and family to support me, to love me.
but
You promised not the throw me away anymore, but you still did.

I guess karma bites like a bitch.
-good bye-