Woke up feeling fairly positive.
slept alone with locked door. Good start anyway :)
Proud of myself.
was doing so good for the 1st half of the day.
Things were crazy at work.
Until. You ass hole bbm me.
Not to patch things back, you tore my healing wounds apart again.
That stupid text.
I wasn't ready to meet you. I couldn't.
How can you be so cruel?
Your heart must be covered by tars from the cigarettes. So black and thick. Your eyes, feelings blinded.
I can't believe I am this weak and vulnerable. How can a simple text from you affected me in so many ways.
I cried, again.
But I sure am lucky enough to have supportive friends and family. :)
Thank you for being there when I abandon all of you when I was living in my fantasy fairy tale.
Went swimming with my sister, had fun, real fun. Though the garden reminded me so much of us. It was the place we 1st met.
Maybe you thought of leaving me long time ago. I do wonder, is this just an opportunity for you to leave me? My heart says, "No"
Until today I still trust you in ways that I don't even understand. Maybe I'm just stupid.
Even though I am always telling you that "I don't trust you" but the fact is, I do. I know you.
Deep down that tar covered heart. Behind that smile.
Didn't eat much yesterday but i was able to finish my lunch :)
another good start.
I am always amazed by the fact that how two different people from totally separate life can come together and love each other so deep. But why do you need to end it this way?
I prefer you to talk me out of this relationship.
This relationship of us need closure. I need closure. It was so good to us, we need to end with respect.
Maybe getting back isn't an option anymore.
-just move on-
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